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Have any of you ever read the following book?
When God Becomes a Drug--Breaking the chains of religious addiction and
abuse by Leo Booth
His book kind of follows the 12-step program for any addiction. When you
look back at Armstrongism and it's continuing mess you will quickly see that
it was an addictive and abuse cult.
Following are some tid-bits from the book.
Anyone who has ever tried to challenge a religious
addict's belief system has undoubtedly been met with hostility bordering on
fury. People who are spiritually healthy will not react with fear and anger
to questions about their beliefs and practices.
Healthy spirituality in contrast is freeing; differing beliefs or even
outright opposition do not threaten you. The symptoms of religious addiction
point to a narrow, restrictive belief system, which limits your spiritual
growth and victimizes you as well as those around you.
Symptoms of religious addiction:
1) Inability to think, doubt, or question information or authority:
If you cannot question or examine what you are taught, if you cannot doubt
or challenge authority, you are in danger of being victimized and abused.
You hand over responsibility for your beliefs, finances, relationships,
employment, and destiny to a clergyman or other so called master. Faith is
said to mean unquestioning obedience. If you are not permitted to think for
yourself, to question, you stop your spiritual growth because you do not
know how to see the ways God is working in you and through you. Questioning
and exploring is a means of having a dialogue with God. To refuse to doubt,
think about, or question what you are told is to miss an opportunity to talk
with God.
2) Black and white, simplistic thinking:
You see life in terms of right and wrong, good or bad, saved or sinner; you
never see the gray areas. The danger in this type of thinking is that life
is seldom black or white. People who think this way are always waiting for
the right answer-the clear signal, the burning bush. You sit and wait for
the solution that fits your simplistic dogma, even though the answers is
often right in front of you. You limit and stunt your life by rejecting
anyone or anything that does not fit into your narrow frame of reference.
You become abusive of others who do not share your view because difference,
variety, and change all fall into the ambiguous gray areas, with which you
cannot cope.
3) Shame based belief that you aren't good enough, or you aren't doing it
right:
Shame based thinking reinforces the belief that you don't make mistakes, but
that you are a mistake. Thus it robs you of the ability to constructively
and healthily examine your behavior or choices, to learn how you might do it
differently. Your black-and-white thinking causes you to label all your
beliefs and behaviors as good or bad-mostly bad. This type of thinking also
cheats you of the opportunity to discover and nurture your won inner
strength. You never recognize or credit the positive choices you make in
your life, never see how you create changes-how you do, in fact, do many
things right. Believing yourself a failure and inadequate, you can never see
when and how you have used your won gifts healthily and creatively. Shame
based thinking robs you of power, self-respect, and dignity.
4) Magical thinking that God will fix you:
Believing yourself inadequate and worthless, you sit and wait for God to do
things for you. Magical thinking also permits religious addicts to accept
abuse and to abuse others. Religious addicts have a distorted conscience and
sense of guilt. Just having a sexual thought or impulse might send them into
a frenzy of self-hate and fear of damnation, but, these same people often
have no prick of conscience in being hateful to people with a different
belief system. Waiting for God to work the trick in our lives we often miss
the sense of empowerment that comes with asking God to show us how to work
our own magic-to create our own changes.
5) Scrupulosity: rigid, obsessive adherence to rules, codes to ethics, or
guidelines:
The fear of punishment and the resulting need to be perfect that comes from
shame based thinking creates an intense need to follow rules. The sense of
right and wrong become totally lost in the obsession with minutely adhering
to rules and rituals, which can render you incapable of questioning the
validity of the rules or how they are applied. Instead you use rules and
rituals to give you self-esteem, authority, and control. Consequently, you
often judge yourself and others mercilessly harsh based solely on adhering
to rules and regulations. That intense focus on rules becomes a way to
escape reality and an avoidance of choice and responsibility. These people
are obsessed with the idea that how well or often you perform some ritual or
saying will save you from punishment. Terrified that punishment might result
from not doing something right, they cling to absolutely, dogmatically to
rules. Equating mistakes with sins for which they will be punished, they
want to avoid taking responsibility by saying they followed the rules..
Unable to recognize how you've made a god of your rules and rituals, you
live isolated by your rigidity. You cannot see that, in giving away your
power to the rules and rituals, you miss the chance to work as a co-creator
with God.
6) Uncompromising, judgmental attitudes:
A false sense of self worth based on putting down, humiliating or even
persecuting others who do not share your beliefs or follow rules rigidly.
Religious addicts must create the fantasy that others are somehow bad,
inferior, or evil in order to maintain a sense of superiority. They fear
anything that poses a threat to their fantasy driven sense of self-respect.
They preach bigotry and hatred based on race, religion, or political
persuasion, unable to recognize the abusiveness and hypocrisy. Some even
feel justified in killing people they consider abusive. As religious
addiction progresses, the range of people whom you fear, who threaten your
religious fantasies, grows wider-they may include your parents, siblings,
spouse, or children. Projecting your self hatred on others, you judge them
as harshly as you judge yourself-always pronouncing on others the same
guilty verdict you secretly pronounce on yourself.
7) Compulsive praying, going to church or crusades, quoting scripture:
These behaviors do for religious addicts what snorting cocaine or swilling
vodka do for substance abusers. When you hear religious addicts quoting
scripture nonstop, imagine seeing heroin addicts shooting up. There is
nothing wrong with praying, going to church, missions crusades or talking to
God, unless it is to the exclusion of all else. When you feel compelled to
force your family and friends to follow your beliefs- and become angry and
hostile when they choose not to accept them-you are not practicing healthy
religion. You are being religiously abusive. When you resent anything that
interferes with your religious practices, that is not healthy. When you flee
from all beliefs but your own, you shut yourself away from God.
8) Unrealistic financial contributions:
9) Believing that sex is dirty-that our bodies and physical pleasures are
evil:
10) Compulsive over eating or excessive fasting:
Religious addicts, especially women, are frequently over weight-and
miserable. So many religious addicts were brought up in a family system that
was religiously restrictive. The rules were no smoking, no drinking, no
dancing, no playing cards, and very limited relationships with the opposite
sex until marriage. The one thing you were allowed to do, and was encouraged
to do, was eat.
11) Conflict with science, medicine, and education:
Religious addicts, because of narrow and restrictive beliefs, often have
conflicts with medicine and education. These two disciplines challenge black
and white thinking, the need for simplistic solutions, and the inability to
think and question. They require trust and choices, and you might not trust
the right person, make the right choice. Better leave it to God. Then it's
not your responsibility. Parents remove their children from schools in which
they might be exposed to a different view. Seeking to protect their children
from so-called "evil thinking" they unknowingly harm them by
refusing to allow their children to use their greatest gift God has given
them: the ability to use their minds. So their children grow up being taught
to fear anything different, unable to evaluate for themselves, confused,
isolated, and often in a rage against a world that constantly threatens
their narrow view.
12) Progressive detachment from the real world, isolation, breakdown of
relationships:
Healthy spirituality encompasses mental, emotional, and physical well being.
They all interact.
13) Psychosomatic illness: sleeplessness, back pains, headaches,
hypertension:
At this stage you are consumed by religion. Nothing else in the world seems
to matter. Life revolves around the church so that you become increasingly
isolated and emotionally unable to be intimate with your loved ones.
Eventually you end up all alone, without family or friends. Dysfunction
begets dysfunction: The disease of religious addiction is a family disease,
a relational disease. Religion often divides families in a way that other
addictions do not. Children of religious addicts carry deep scars of guilt
and shame, low self-esteem, inability to make decisions, fear of
manipulation. Some become as abusive as their parents, perpetuating
prejudice and hatred. Other abandon God completely, struggling to live with
no spiritual nourishment, often becomes addicted to other substances as a
result.
14) Manipulating scriptures or texts, feeling chosen, claiming to receive
special messages from God:
There is a difference in using scripture to support what you are saying and
twisting it to justify irrational claims and behavior. People who are
manipulating and twisting scripture will keep repeating the same rote,
fixedly dogmatic. Healthy use of scripture or teachings to support ideas
allows for discussion and differing interpretations-something religious
addicts cannot do.
15) Trance like state or religious high, wearing a glazed happy face:
The too-bright, falsely cheerful expression is also a mask. Underneath it
see the tension, anger, and rigid control. God's children are supposed to be
happy; that's the fantasy. The illusion. Don't let anyone know that you're
not happy, for admitting not being happy in the Lord is to admit
imperfection, failure, not in doing right. Such an admission courts
disapproval, so you paste on your false smile.
16) Cries for help: mental, emotional, physical breakdown; hospitalization:
You cannot stop meditating, praying, incense burning, crusades, and
obsessive scripture quoting. Your family does not know what to do. You've
tithes away your savings; maybe you are near bankruptcy. Certainly you are
spiritually bankrupt-you cannot sleep; your headaches; your stomach is in
knots; you're so depressed you can barely function. You nay have a nervous
breakdown.
Religious addicts manipulate with guilt. Who dares to argue with the Bible?
Who dares not side with God? How can anyone object to a godly lifestyle?
When there is no balance, when religious addicts give their families no
choice, when there is no room for differing opinions and beliefs, it becomes
abusive. When they restrict their family's lives, continually trying to
force them into a belief system under threat of rejection, punishment, or
abandonment, it becomes abusive. When God is used as a weapon, people often
see God as the abuser, rather than the addict. Children who are raised in
this kind of religious environment seldom have the opportunity to question
those beliefs, especially if they are raised in a home in which doubting and
questioning were punishable sins. They become judgmental, dogmatic, rigid,
intolerant, and perfectionists just as their parents are. They become
increasingly out of touch with their own emotions, they have been
conditioned no to think for themselves. The dissenting spouse is portrayed
as sinful and ungodly. Worse, when children are involved, they are often
caught in a good parent/evil parent situation, creating great guilt and
confusion.
The book includes the following chapters:
Sin, Shame Fear and Control: The roots of religious
addiction
When God Becomes a Drug: The stages of religious addiction
Where Does It Hurt? The symptoms of religious addiction
Religious Addiction: A family disease
Suffer the Children: The consequences of religious addiction and abuse
Recovery: Twelve steps in breaking you chains
Toward a Healthy Spirituality
Helping Others to Recovery
A Guide for Professionals
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