The Painful Truth About The Worldwide Church of God
Witty Witte Quotations
By Troy Witte

For god so loved the world,
that he gave his only begotten son,
that whosoever would believe in him
would believe in anything.

Faith is to the human what
sand is to the ostrich.

Read the Buy-Bull.


Jesus Loves Me, Yes I Know/
For the Voices Tell Me So.


The last time we mixed
religion and government people
were burned at the stake.


The greater your ignorance,
the more evidence you have for the existence of God!



If the Bible proves that God
exists then comic books prove the existence of Superman.

For many, faith is a suitable substitute for knowledge, as death is for a difficult life.


We preach peace, forgiveness, tolerance and love. We practice vengeance, persecution, hatred and domination.


Belief in heaven is impossible in the absence of a greedy desire for it.


The scientist yearns to find
and eventually know the truth;
The religious man wants the truth to fit
his preconceived mold.
So, as a result...
The scientist alters his perception
to conform to the facts;
The religious man tries to change
the facts to conform to his beliefs.



Humanity sees its reflection in
the mirrors that surround it, and thus gratified, calls this image perfect, good, merciful, omniscient, omnipresent, holy, just, and above all, love. So enchanted are these hairless apes with this, that they invent a special word for it: 'God'.

Christianity is not a religion;
it's an industry.

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day;
Give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.


Man created God in his own image.


Faith is deciding to allow yourself
to believe something your intellect would otherwise cause you to reject -- otherwise there's no need for faith.


Jesus loves you all, and can't wait to control you like a small household pet.


You Go Yahweh - and I'll go Mine!


Theology:
The study of elaborate verbal disguises for non-ideas.


 
The mind of the fundamentalist is like the pupil of the eye:
the more light you pour on it, the more it will contract.



God: The Immutable Chameleon;
whenever the need is felt by one of his followers,
He obligingly recreates himself to suit the occasion.

I once believed in god. I got better.


The fool says in his heart, "There is no God."
The Wise Man Says it to the World.


Every absurdity has a champion to defend it.

Have you forgotten about Jesus?
Isn't it about time you did?

Two hands working do more than a thousand clasped in prayer.


A society without religion is like a crazed psychopath without a loaded .45

"Before the year 2000, the Christian Coalition will be the most powerful organization in America."
[Pat Robertson]


I don't mind those who are born again,
just as long as they don't think that they
get twice as many rights.



Fundamentalism means never
having to say "I'm wrong."

The only difference between
God and Adolf Hitler is that
God is more proficient at genocide.



Humanity's first sin was faith;
the first virtue was doubt.

Why be born again,
when you can just grow up?



Any belief worth having
must survive doubt.

Traveler: God has been mighty
good to your fields, Mr. Farmer.
Farmer: You should have seen how he treated them when I wasn't around.


Explaining the unknown by
means of the unobservable
is always a perilous business.


I love Jesus, Yes I do.
Baked or broiled or in a stew...



Bend over for the
rod and staff of Jesus!

The Pope has just declared
that Jesus is now an infinitely
long tube of white paste.



Losing your faith is a lot like
losing your virginity. You don't
realize how irritating it was 'till it's gone.


Religious reasons do not
excuse violence: they accuse religion.


FAITH - An attitude fostered
by individuals in high places in
order to ensure the subservience
of those in their charge.


Philosophy is questions that may
never be answered. Religion is answers
that may never be questioned.

God is love.
Love is blind.
Ray Charles is blind.
Therefore, Ray Charles is God.


"...but when you come
to Heritage USA, remember to bring
your Bible and your VISA card - because
the Bible is the Holy Truth, and God
doesn't take American Express."


God created me with the propensity
or capacity to do things he doesn't like.
And Christianity is all about showing
God how sorry I am for being myself.


What can you expect from
a God who crucified his own son?

The cute little animals entered
Noah's ark two by two. Then
the evil children were ripped from
their parents' arms and drowned by
God's violent rushing waters.


 
Give me your money
and I'll give you Jesus.
 

Believe in Jesus or you will burn
in hell and be eternally separated from
our unconditionally loving God.

The majority of these quotes were
found in a compilation by Wayne Aiken.
Click here for more.

 


 

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