Worldwide Church of God
Ministers Are Jokes
(with apologies to lawyers)
forwarded by John B.
1. Did you hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to Worldwide ministers? It's called, Soscrumi.
2. Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps? They had pictures of Worldwide ministers on them...and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
3. How are an apple and a Worldwide minister alike? They both look good hanging from a tree.
4. How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future Worldwide minister? She has a sudden anxiety about being raped.
5. How does a Worldwide minister sleep? First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
6. How many Worldwide minister jokes are there? Only one. The rest are true stories.
7. How many Worldwide ministers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They threaten the members and make them do it.
8. If a Worldwide minister and a skinhead were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read your newspaper?
9. What are Worldwide ministers good for? They make the Nazis look good.
10. What did the terrorist that hijacked a jumbo-jet full of Worldwide ministers do? He threatened to release one every hour if his demands were not met.
11. What do dinosaurs and decent Worldwide ministers have in common? They are both extinct.
12. What do Worldwide ministers and sperm have in common? It takes 300,000,000 of them to make one human being.
13. What do you call 25 Worldwide ministers buried up to their chins in cement? Not enough cement.
14. What do you call 25 Worldwide ministers at the bottom of the sea? A good start.
15. What do you call a Worldwide minister gone bad? Evangelist.
15. What do you call a Worldwide minister with an IQ of 50? Pastor General.
16. What do you throw to a drowning Worldwide minister? His local elders.
17. What does a Worldwide minister do after sex? Pays the bill.
18. What does a Worldwide minister get when you give him Viagra? Taller.
19. What's brown and looks really good on a Worldwide minister? A Doberman.
20. How can you tell when a Worldwide minister is lying? His lips are moving.
21. What's the difference between a Worldwide minister and a prostitute? The prostitute stops screwing you after you are dead.
22. What's the difference between a Worldwide minister and a vulture? The minister gets frequent flyer miles.
23. What's the difference between a mosquito and a Worldwide minister? One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
24. Where can you find a good Worldwide minister? The nearest cemetery.
25. Why did God make snakes just before Worldwide ministers? For practice.
26. Why does California have the most Worldwide ministers in the country, and New Jersey has Tony Soprano? New Jersey got first choice.
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