Hieronymous Wolverton

He's been called “the Hieronymous Bosch of comics.” And, oh dear lord, he's about to make a comeback.

Basil Wolverton's "Bible Story" has been tweaked by son Monte, given the good housekeeping seal of approval by the GICcies* at WCG (I'll be interesting to see what they cut out) and is due to hit the bookshops later this year. It's re-titled The Wolverton Bible.

And get this: every one of those amazing original BS illustrations has been included.

Amazon has preview pages up. Being released in December it'll make an ideal (turn over in your grave Basil) Xmas gift!

*GICcies, a possible replacement term for COGgers, now that Joey ("if you don't like my rules I'll take your ball and YOU can go home") Tkach is trying to rename his made-over sect Grace International Communion. Any other suggestions?

Journal mailout

The September-December Journal has rolled off the presses. The front cover might perhaps be described as ecumenical, with articles about the late Samuele Bacchiocchi, and a major feature about COG7's Robert Coulter, who visited the Big Sandy church in November. The Q&A transcript following Coulter's address is eye opening. For those who want to know how the WCG and COG7 fit together historically this is a fascinating resource.

Ken Westby reviews James Tabor's Restoring Abrahamic Faith. Frankly, he's a lot more generous about it than I was prepared to be. While directing some very gentle criticism toward the end, Westby also writes, "I love the book and use it as a devotional guide, meditating and praying along with the many important scriptures he has artistically assembled." Ken really needs to get out more often! My abortive attempt at a review last year may yet resurface. [Update: it's now posted over at Otagosh]

There's an essay on the calendar which includes a chart labelled "God's 19-year time cycle of new moon conjunctions." I'm not prepared to read it until all the sharp objects in the house are locked away. I did notice two of author William Neely's concluding sentences however: "God's calendar is precise, living and permanent. It is carved in the heavens!"

Uh huh...

Check out the front and back pages online.

Following up on the previous post, the Waldheim prophecy appeared in Willie Dankenbring's Prophecy Flash.

King of Fierce Countenance - NOT

Here's a nice quote from the year 1989. So - who said it?

Events in Europe have certainly speeded up to a "quantum leap" into the future. A new "world empire" is beginning to arise in Central Europe - a modern "Holy Roman Empire," which is neither "holy," nor "Roman." Undoubtedly, with his stunning relations with the Arab world and its volatile leaders, and with the Pope, Kurt Waldheim will play a very significant role in that future Germanic-dominated Empire. His anti-Semitism and his personal characteristics fit him perfectly for the role of the future king of "fierce countenance" foretold by Daniel the prophet.

Kurt Waldheim, a former Secretary General of the UN, died in 1997 at the ripe old age of 88. "Undoubtedly" he wasn't the king of "fierce countenance." That "quantum leap" was evidently in a backward direction.

So who was the reckless prognosticator who fell flat on his derriere? Clue: he hasn't learned from the pratfall, and is still busily pontificating on the meaning of "prophecy." His identity is revealed next time.

HWA - Guilty as Sin

Over on Stan's AR blog you can find this intriguing quote, which I assume comes from John Trechak's original Ambassador Report.

Four ex-WCG members - C. Wayne Cole, Ron Dart, Guy Carnes, and Benny Sharp - testified favorably on Robinson's side at the Tulsa trial. Benny Sharp, for one, was personally aware of the incest, as he was in the room when the legendary "I will destroy you" last meeting took place between HWA and GTA.

In final settlement of a legally dubious, WCG pre-publication lawsuit against Robinson for exposing Armstong's Tangled Web, the losing WCG plaintiffs who sued had to write David Robinson a check for $25,000!

HWA or the WCG never challened the factual, plain truth about Armstrong's incest itself in court, which would be in the preferred legal strategy to stop publication, or get a retraction to set the record straight. But in order to get that public retraction, Armstrong had to have the real truth about the guilt of his repeated criminal incest on his side to win, which he didn't.

The new Living Armstrongism blog fits many of the pieces together in an impressive summary, and reaches its own conclusion. It's an excellent piece of writing.

As the years go by, collective amnesia sets in. Those who left in the eighties were often hard pressed, for example, to tap into the experiences and research of those who'd left in the previous wave of 1974. The Internet has changed all that, and rose-tinted glasses are bound to be shattered.

If the sordid tale of Herbert Armstrong's private life is a threat to anyone's faith, one could only ask whether this is a valuable - perhaps God-given - opportunity to change the focus of that faith. A very long time ago - 1979 to be exact - Tanya Bryan wrote this poem as the result of the upheaval in the church at that time. It appeared in Internews, an early publication of CGI.

HEROES

I am not old
Nor smart
Nor rich
But now I know
There is only one hero.

I've seen promises broken
With no explanation
Words spoken
But not upheld.

I've seen horrendous acts
In the name of religion
People crushed
In the name of God

All the pedestals we place them on
All the blocks we set them on
There is only one we can really count on.
Christ is the only hero.

An Onion By Any Other Name

From: Joseph Tkach...
Sent: Thursday, 18 December 2008 6:48 AM
To: [a variety of apparatchiks]
Cc: 'Mike Feazell'
Subject: RE: Status of Denominational Name Change

Greetings again today!

Since sending the email updating you about the survey, Mike suggested to me that I share with you, my original email to all U.S. pastors:

Greetings from Glendora!

It is always such a great joy to see all of you at our annual district conferences, and I want you to know how much I appreciate you and your work in Christ. My only regret is that there is never enough time to interact with everyone as much I would like.

One of the common questions we discussed and that I’m frequently asked is, “When will we change our denominational name?”

I want to answer that question and also seek your assistance.


First, let me rehearse the background to the question of changing our denominational name.

1. Some people have an immediate negative reaction to the name “Worldwide Church of God” because of our past. Changing our name signals clearly that a change has taken place. It also strengthens our witness to God’s grace and his intervention in our fellowship.

2. “Church of God” conveys association with any one of a number of sectarian groups that have long used that name, such as the Churches of God, Anderson, Indiana, and many others. Some of these churches are Pentecostal, and most are fundamentalist.

3. When considering a name for our denomination, we need to consider the future as well as the past. Choosing a name for a church is a spiritual matter, but it has important practical implications. The name becomes the church’s public trademark, and helps people form a concept of who we are. What we call ourselves also has business and legal implications.

4. Our name should not misrepresent what the church is. Older members will remember that our church has been known as Worldwide Church of God only since 1968. Before then, we were known as the Radio Church of God. This made sense at the time, as the church had pioneered religious radio broadcasting. In the thirties, forties and maybe even the fifties, a name that included the word “radio” sounded dynamic and modern. But by the ’60s, it had begun to sound quaint and out-of-date. Membership was growing, and congregations were established around the world. We needed a name that described what our church had become. So “Worldwide” was chosen, and it has served us well. But today, the name “Worldwide Church of God” name carries the baggage of our pre-transformational reputation and culture and therefore misrepresents who and what we are as a denomination.

Since the beginning of our doctrinal transformation ministers and members alike have been raising the question of changing the name of the denomination. Because our doctrinal foundation, mission focus and church structure have undergone major changes, many have and continue to express their feeling that we need a name that better represents who the church is today and where it is going in the future.

As you know, in the September 2005 issue of WCG Today, members in the United States were invited to submit possible new church names to their pastors. District superintendents collected the suggested names and forwarded them to Glendora. Members, national leaders and mission developers from all over the world were also invited to participate in the process.

Our name search team, which was appointed by the WCG Board of Directors and was composed of a number of leading men and women from various departments at headquarters, examined the names submitted and made recommendations to the Board and to the Advisory Council of Elders.

After a reviewing all the submitted names and discussing the viable ones at length, the search team isolated key terms that reflect the church’s values and mission as a denomination while avoiding key terms that are normally associated with other denominations as well as those that are already in use by other organizations.

The name search team presented their findings and recommendations to a combined meeting of the Board and the Advisory Council of Elders on Dec. 20, 2005. After all factors and criteria were considered, the Board and the Council settled on the name “Grace Communion International” as best representing who and what our church is today and where it is going in the future.

The rationale was published in the February 6, 2006, issue of WCG Today:

Grace: Grace lies at the heart of our values and mission as a transformed church. The gospel is the message of God’s grace to humanity revealed in Jesus Christ. And it is by God’s grace that we were led out of our former legalism and biblical misinterpretation. If we must choose one word to best describe our fellowship in terms of our spiritual journey and our ongoing mission and goals, it would have to be the word grace.

Communion: The terms church, community, communion, assembly, conference and fellowship can all refer to a group of congregations belonging to a single denomination. Of these terms, communion includes the concept of spiritual unity and positive relationships in the love of the Father, the grace and peace of Jesus Christ and the life of the Holy Spirit. It is a biblical word, and one that resonates on several levels with our experience of transformation and new life in Christ, who shares with us his own communion with the Father and the Spirit.

The terms "community, fellowship and church" are less likely to be approved by the trademark office, in the current opinion of counsel.

International: We are an international, multicultural church. We value and respect one another, existing not as a single, national church in any given country, but as a unified body of believers who span the globe, sharing a common history and journey of faith.

(As a reminder, the name “Grace International Fellowship,” which I originally raised for consideration at our worldwide pastors conference in the summer of 2005, we found to be in use by another organization. That made it unavailable to us and meant that even variations of it could subject us to legal challenges.)

The approved name, “Grace Communion International,” was met with mixed reactions when it was first announced in early 2006. Although a majority of members expressed their support for the new name, we decided to put the name change on hold to allow more time to see whether a greater comfort level might develop among members did not.

As time has passed, the consensus in favor of the name “Grace Communion International” has continued to grow. Although we cannot expect 100 percent agreement on any name, it does seem that there is a growing majority of ministers and members who favor a change to this name.

We are a church that God has changed radically from what we once were to what we are today. Our change to a new name that accurately describes what God has done with us would be consistent with that transformation.

As you know, most of our congregations have already taken on local names, demonstrating the value in putting before the public a name other than our current denominational moniker. A new denominational name would underscore the rationale used by our local churches in allowing our name to reflect who our Father has made us through the Spirit to be in Jesus Christ.

Grace Communion International describes our spiritual journey together, celebrates our new life in Christ, and communicates our Trinitarian/Incarnational theology.

Any change, even a positive and accepted one, can generate a level of uncertainty and distress. That means your personal support as a pastor would be crucial to helping your congregation through the transition of a name change.

As a reminder, we are speaking about the change of the name of the denomination only. Each local church, and each international church, will still be able to choose its own name that may or may not be the same as our denominational name (or even keep the name "Worldwide Church of God"). Some North American congregations might wish to change their name to "Grace
Communion" (we anticipate obtaining the legal trademark to this shortened version of the name as well), or some variant, but they do not have to adopt our denominational name as their local church name.

Here is where I’d like to ask for your help. In order to gain a sense of whether now is finally the time for us to change our denomination name to "Grace Communion International", I am asking each pastor to do these three things:

1) explain the need for the change
2) explain the meaning of the new name
3) survey the response by asking your congregation for a show of hands as to whether they are supportive of this name change now. Please reply to this email with the results of a show of hands (e.g. 75% in favor, 25% opposed, or vice versa) along with the name of your congregation(s). While the email address bears my name, it is a temporary address for the purpose of this survey.

Thanks for your help in this and your continued faithful service in the gospel.

In Jesus’ love,
Joseph Tkach

AW response: dear Joe, ditching the baggage is a great idea, so why not start with the hierarchic leadership which has no mandate! Your resignation and the creation of representative structures (elected board, conference structure etc.) would mark a genuine change, unlike your present window dressing proposal.)

More Denial

Unsurprisingly, as if tapped on the knee with a mallet, Bob Thiel has leapt manfully to the defense of his dead idol following yesterday's posting.

I agree with Mary Lane that the most interesting part of Bob's response is this.

Perhaps I should mention that since one aspect of these accusations is commonly attributed to a comment supposedly made by Herbert W. Armstrong’s son Garner Ted Armstrong (GTA) concerning his dad and his sister Dorothy. I personally called Garner Ted Armstrong’s office on Dec. 12, 2002 to inquire about this particular accusation. I was not able to speak with GTA directly, but a key employee of the Garner Ted Armstrong Evangelistic Association discussed it with him and got back with me. Through his spokesperson, GTA declined to comment except to pass on the message that:

“everything you really need to know about my father is contained within the Autobiography (of Herbert W. Armstrong).”

Thus GTA would not stand by a statement attributed to him on this matter–so how can any believe this?

Put yourself in Ted's shoes. Along comes a request from a pesky devotee of Rod Meredith for information on the incest allegations. What could Ted do?

(a) deny them. That would settle the matter, and you'd think he'd be eager to do just that - clear the family name - if it had all been a horrible case of smear and innuendo. Let's give Ted some credit, he had enough integrity to not do that.

(b) confirm them. After twenty-three years revisit a painful part of his past and see it blow up in his face all over again.

(c) tell Bob, diplomatically, to sod off.

Wisely he chose option three. It says a good deal about Bob that he failed to realize he was being given the bum's rush.

Living In Denial

It gets tedious when the defenders of Herbert W. Armstrong demand proof for his incest. What kind of proof would they like? It was a family affair long hushed up. Among those who knew were HWA (deceased), Dorothy (deceased), son Ted (deceased), and a variety of insiders with good reason not to rock the boat. When David Robinson brought the allegations out into the open there were no denials. Not from HWA, Dorothy, or Ted... all of whom could have given the lie to it. Then there's the Ramona Martin legal settlement, which mentioned the incest and was widely published. The allegations are long past the point where they could be pursued in a court of law, and so, with cult-like logic, the naysayers maintain there is no proof, and therefore, abracadabra, it didn't happen.

The weight of evidence however is overwhelming. The following material appeared in the April 1984 issue of Ambassador Report.

HWA Confesses to Incest!

Many readers will recall that when David Robinson's book appeared in 1980 it contained numerous allegations shocking to even some of HWA's longtime critics. No accusation was more startling than that found in the book's last chapter. There Robinson charged that HWA had maintained an intimate sexual relationship with the younger of his two daughters for a period of approximately one decade beginning in the early 1930s.

The Armstrong organization, through surrogates, attempted to use the courts to block distribution of the Robinson book, but failed miserably (Ambassador Report, Sept. 1980). It is most remarkable, however, that in attempting to block distribution of the Robinson book, never once was it asserted that the incest allegation was untrue. Nor did Dorothy Mattson, HWA's younger daughter, ever come forth to deny the incest story (and she has repeatedly refused to respond to queries from the Report regarding the matter). In spite of all this, it seems there are still some who prefer to believe that the incest story was fabricated. Let us briefly review the facts.

In 1971 Garner Ted Armstrong paid a visit to his younger sister Dorothy. He had long been suspicious of the kind of relationship his father and sister maintained during his youth. They chatted over a few drinks and then Ted told her bluntly of his suspicions. She did more than admit the allegations. With candor she related detail after shocking detail.

For a number of years GTA kept the information to himself. But Dorothy did not. She divulged the same information to many others including David Antion (GTA's brother-in-law) and Lois Chapman (who had been married to the late Richard Armstrong, Ted's older brother).

Dorothy's story as related to Ted and others was that Herbert had begun fondling and heavy petting her in 1933 when she was thirteen years old - around the same time that HWA now claims God was using him to found the modern era of the only true church. But he did not begin to go "all the way" with her until three years later. One day Dorothy returned home from a date with a young bank teller to inform her father that she had just been "half-raped." To her surprise, Herbert was actually "elated" over the news. Herbert decided it was time to show her how it was really done. From then on Herbert went "all the way." The year was 1936; Dorothy was 16 years old. Strangely, Dorothy has claimed that Herbert later went on to become a good friend of the bank teller.

The incestuous relationship went on for years, but it was apparently not mutually enjoyable. Dorothy has related to friends how on one occasion in a hotel room she so strongly protested Herbert's abuse that the manager knocked on the door and asked what the reason was for all the noise. Herbert was quick to inform him that his "young bride" was a bit uncooperative due to inexperience. Satisfied with the alibi the manager left. Dorothy has claimed that Herbert then overpowered her, and after tying her to the bed and gagging her, proceeded to rape her. It's a pity Herbert neglected to include this incident in his book God Speaks Out on the New Morality.

During those years, besides taking her on supposedly church or ministry-related business trips, it was not uncommon for Herbert to take Dorothy out dancing on Friday nights. On one such occasion she asked him if he ever worried that one of his church members would see them. He told her no, because, in effect, they were too stupid to be out dancing on Friday night and that he had them well-trained (in keeping the Friday sunset to Saturday sunset Sabbath).

These incidents were but a part of the awful truth Dorothy related to Garner Ted and others. In spite of church upheavals, arguments with his father, personal emotional problems and considerable notoriety about his own sins, Ted said nothing about his father's shameful past. Not until 1978.

That year, during a heated argument between GTA and his father, HWA threatened to "destroy" Ted through making public certain information about his personal life. But Ted responded in kind saying he could destroy HWA with the information he had. Ted charged his father in no uncertain terms, yelling: "You fucked my sister!" Herbert, shocked at Ted's knowledge of the incestuous relationship, could only reply, "Well there have been times in my life when I have gotten far away from God." The conversation - overheard by GTA associate Benny Sharp - was the last face to face meeting between the two men. And Ted has since related how the hateful look he saw in his father's eye made him suspect they would never see each other again.

As was covered in great detail in our 1977 issue, during the early '70s Garner Ted Armstrong became highly infatuated with an Ambassador College coed. The resulting affair caused great confusion in the higher echelons of the WCG. Former WCG evangelist David Antion recalls how, at the time, he discussed the problem with HWA. Antion was for years perplexed by the almost Freudian analysis offered. HWA told Antion that Ted was simply fantasizing the younger woman as being his own daughter. The statement made no sense to Antion until years later. (As an aside, it is interesting how Ramona [HWA's second wife] has claimed that HWA has been, over the years, very jealous of GTA's supposed sexual prowess.)

The last meeting between GTA and his father in 1978 was not the only time HWA confessed to the incest allegation. In 1980 Henry Cornwall, then an aide to HWA, read the Robinson book soon after it appeared and asked HWA directly if the chapter on incest was accurate. HWA told him it was. He then instructed Cornwall that his wife Ramona was not to see the book or learn of the incest story. Unfortunately for Herbert, Ramona already had a copy of the book and was in the next room listening to the Cornwall-HWA discussion. Shortly thereafter, she too confronted HWA about the incest allegation. And once again, Herbert admitted it was true, but begged and pleaded with Ramona not to let this fact get in the way of their marriage. The cause of the problem, he said, had been Loma, his first wife. Considering the perversity of Herbert's past, is it any wonder Ramona's love would begin to wane?

One can only speculate on how much Herbert's first wife Loma knew of what had transpired for ten years between her husband and her younger daughter. but some individuals who were then close to the Armstrong family did notice that toward the end of her life Loma was not on good speaking terms with Dorothy and that during the last year or so of her life she appeared to have lost almost all will to live. She died in 1967 after an illness that many say could have been cured by medical science, had she availed herself of that help. It is interesting to note also that HWA's great preoccupation with world touring began right around that time.

Ramona has reported to friends how the Robinson allegations preoccupied HWA's mind for a considerable period. She has also reported seeing a typed statement intended for Dorothy's signature. It stated that she (Dorothy) had never had a sexual relationship with her father. The document was, and we'd be willing to bet still is, unsigned. Dorothy undoubtedly knows that to sign such a statement would prove financially costly, removing any leverage she still possesses over her father. (On a recent trip to Big Sandy, Texas, HWA was quoted as saying his daughters show him very little affection and care only for his money.)

Dorothy has stated that her sexual relationship with her father continued into the early forties. In 1943 Herbert officiated at the ceremony in which Dorothy was married to Vern Mattson, who soon afterward was to serve overseas in the U.S. Marines. We have no information that the incestuous relationship continued beyond that point. However, Dorothy has related to friends how, around the time of her engagement, Herbert told her that her marriage need not put an end to their own special relationship.

Shortly after Vern's discharge from the military, Herbert was able to provide him with employment within his growing organization. Although Dorothy drifted away from her father's church by around 1951, Vern continued his association. He was the organization's business manager before the Albert Portune era.

Even William Dankenbring is convinced!

A friend of mine, when he learned of these allegations years ago, went directly to Mr. Vern Mattson [photo], who had married Herbert Armstrong's younger daughter. He was a golfing buddy and friend of Mattson, so he asked him point-blank if the accusations and rumors were true. Mr. Mattson sadly informed him that they indeed were factual. In fact, when Mr. Mattson himself learned of the truth of Herbert having had sex with the woman who later became Mattson's wife, he was furious, and in a rage took a pistol, and burst into Herbert Armstrong's private office, waving the pistol around. Herbert, shaking like a leaf, apologized profusely and promised to never do such a thing again.

Sadly though, none of this will convince the idolatrous faithful, for whom Herb is the unassailable Apostle and vehicle of truth.

Finally, here's a brief excerpt from Robinson's 1980 book, Herbert Armstrong's Tangled Web.

Incest is a terrible and unnatural crime, an extreme perversity. That is why I was shocked beyond measure to hear that Herbert Armstrong was, himself, guilty of this vile sin. I learned of this in the summer of 1979 from members of his own family. The story, sordid beyond imagination, was told in awful detail.

One family source was Garner Ted Armstrong. Last summer, as HWA attacked his own son in such savage fury, his son was in the depths of despair. His emotional mix included anger and deep hurt. In such a state he told family secrets that otherwise would have been locked within him forever. He said he had learned in 1971 of his father's incredible conduct during the '30s and '40s. The story came directly to him in lurid detail, but he kept it sealed in his own consciousness for all those years. But, in the spring of 1978 while in his father's house for the last time, his father had threatened to "destroy him." Ted, in response, replied, "Dad, I will destroy you. I know about you and -----." (He was speaking of the younger of his two sisters.)

His father had been on a high-handed autocratic binge. But at that comment he sat down quietly and responded, "Well, Ted, there have been times when I have been very far away from God." (Admittedly, this was a strange turn of events in the relationship of the two whom HWA had likened to God the Father and Jesus Christ!)

Ted has told many people that there was a look in his father's eyes he had never seen before. Ted knew his father was now determined to totally destroy any credibility he might have...

None who have objectively heard the incest story in its awful detail doubt it. This is a vital chapter left out of HWA's autobiography. This sin occured over a long span of years, a decade after his ordination to the ministry, according to his own family members...

Many of us have wondered why HWA was so forceful in covering up Ted's sins for so many years. Ted then seemed to be an extension of himself in his own mind and was not even a separate entity. It was like covering for himself. But when finally he knew he must cut his son off, he had to go all the way. It was either destroy or be destroyed...

... thousands who look to HWA, idolizing him as if he were God himself, must come to understand how dangerous such a view is. Thousands around the world have been hurt by blindly following this man. Now people must be given enough information to make an intelligent decision on whether this is the man who is going to lead them to safety during the "crisis at the close"...

Jiminy Cricket

The Q&A section of Tomorrow's World carries many weighty queries. Here's the first one for 2009.

... why do some people object to such seemingly inoffensive outbursts as "gosh'" or "gee" or "Jiminy Cricket"?

The ponderous but unsigned TW response follows:

Because they are euphemisms for the names of God the Father and Jesus Christ - and those that use them are taking God's name in vain.

The proof text is, naturally, Exodus 20:7.

But, gosh, is that true? Let's check the Jewish Study Bible.

Assertions in court, in public affairs, and even in ordinary conversation were often backed up with conditional self-curses that would take effect if the swearer's assertion were false or his promise unfulfilled.

Gee, nothing about euphemisms there.

Let's haul out the HarperCollins Encyclopedia of Catholicism and see what it has to say.

The original purpose of this commandment is not clear. There is no textual reason to believe that it was an injunction against profanity, as it is popularly viewed today. Others ascribe to it the prohibition of a variety of sinful uses of Yahweh's name such as divination, blasphemy, imprecation, and magic. (Article: Commandments, the Ten)

Now let's think. If a preacher - Ronald Weinland for example - uses a form of divination (using proof texts rather than chicken entrails) to predict the Great Tribulation... that's taking the Lord's name in vain.

If a preacher - Rod Meredith for example - claims authority in God's name to collect tithes... that's taking the Lord's name in vain. Jeremiah 23:21 comes to mind.

I did not send the prophets, yet they ran; I did not speak to them, yet they prophesied.

Now that's taking the Lord's name in vain!

Obviously these words in Exodus could apply in a number of ways, but euphemisms doesn't really seem to be one of them. On the other hand divination (nutty prophecies) and imprecations (e.g. Weinlandisms, Dankenbring and Coulter on the recent US elections) are rife in the Churches of God. The facile TW answer really seems to be straining at a cricket-sized gnat.

By Jiminy, maybe somebody should tell Rod!

Tucson Remembers Herb & Stan

Where were you in 1979? If you're too young to give an answer - lucky you! Those of us who were peons in the Empire remember it as the year of the receivership crisis and the ascendancy of Stan Rader, filling the vacuum left by the disgraced GTA. The High and Herbal One was prepared to relocate his entire operation to Arizona, far from the influence of the California Attorney General. The Arizona Daily Star last week cast a brief backward glance to those days in its Tucson Time Capsule feature.

When Herbert Armstrong, the patriarch of the Worldwide Church of God, was battling a court-ordered receivership of his church in California, he temporarily moved to Tucson. On Jan. 22, 1979, Armstrong held a meeting here for ministers of the church and vowed never to return to California. Armstrong, right, along with his top aide, Stanley Rader, received a card of support from a church member. Armstrong and Rader were considering moving their base of operations to Tucson, where they both owned property. But, eventually, the case was dropped and they returned to California. Armstrong died in 1986 at age 93.

So there's Herb, and there's Stan... and is the third bloke Rod?

In Bed With Evangelical Ted

Ted Haggard, fallen icon of the Evangelical counter-culture, is trying to make a comeback. Like another Ted of an earlier decade, he's "repented" ("I am guilty. I am responsible," ... "I got off track, and I am deeply sorry and I repent ... I'm moving along in a positive direction") while managing to slag off his detractors at the same time. It seems being caught with your pants down is OK as long as you're firmly clutching your Bible.

Haggard was the poster boy of judgmental sanctimoniousness until he got caught in a gay sex scandal. It was, of course, a one-off aberration, and the church treated poor Ted without adequate Christian compassion, yadda yadda yadda. Now it seems Ted is rebuilding his celebrity status with a side-order of martyrdom. There are interviews pending on Oprah and Larry King Live, and a doco called The Trials of Ted Haggard. Yes, Ted was a victim too, and who are we to cast the first stone?

The problem with that line of reasoning is that Ted is himself a world record holder in the sport of stone hurling. And now it emerges that Ted has been bonking more than a lone gay prostitute.

Somebody has been telling porkies.

Bonhoeffer talked about the perils of cheap grace, which is a message mainline Christians might do well to hear, but maybe the message biblicists - of whatever variety - need to hear instead is on cheap repentance.