Stop it Bob, you'll go blind!

Prognostication takes another turn into the land of the crazy with the stunningly brain-dead nonsense COGaholics are spouting forth about the EU leadership.

Do none of these self-declared experts remember the fiasco about Franz Joseph Strauss?

Simple answer: yes, but they're humming loudly to themselves and pretending they don't.

So along comes Herman Van Rompuy, and the screaming doom-casters, having learned nothing, are at it again.

Bob Thiel, Th.D (Kochi, India) has this to say on his blog.

Herman Van Rompuy has pledged to raise taxes. And since he is not the final King of the North, if Daniel 11:20 has a final fulfillment and he dies early, the following may apply to him:

There shall arise in his place one who imposes taxes on the glorious kingdom; but within a few days he shall be destroyed, but not in anger or in battle (Daniel 11:20).

You're wading way out into the quicksand there Bob.

... I believe that while Herman Van Rompuy is not likely to be the one that is the final King of the North, he may help set the stage for that leader to rise up. And if he fulfills his comments about raising taxes, he certainly could be considered as a person who fulfills Daniel 11:20.

The hilarious thing is that Bob is posturing as the cautious commentator vis-à-vis the truckload of manure that the Flurry sect is spouting on this issue. He doesn't seem to have succeeded!

Let's be honest. Franz Joseph Strauss had zero prophetic significance. That's obvious in hindsight, but it was also obvious at the time to anybody who bothered to look into the genre of biblical writing.

Herman Van Rompuy has zero prophetic significance. You don't need to wait to find that out, it's completely obvious right now.

Daniel 11:20 has nothing to do with Herman Van Rompuy. Does Bob (or Gerry) not possess a decent commentary to refer to? (Possibly not, as they'd consider such a thing "worldly.")

Herbert Armstrong and his "hanger-onners" had zero prophetic insight.

Gerry Flurry's prophetic insight scores in negative numbers. Zero flatters him.

Bob Thiel has zero prophetic insight.

This is where all the nonsense about "watch world news" falls apart. The Bible can't be aligned with the newspaper headlines of today (or Time cover articles), any more than it could in the 1930s or 1970s. The whole enterprise is doomed to failure, although a convincing performance may line the pockets of those who claim otherwise.

It may cause folk to feel special if they delude themselves about having an inside-track on world events, but sooner or later they - and often their loved ones - are going to have to pay.

Across on Mike Bennett's blog is one of those gratuitous postings on the perils of taking the Lord's name in vain. It's called "Signs of perilous times: blasphemers." Here's the irony: the very same people who are horrified by gosh or darn seem deliriously happy when someone climbs up into the pulpit and talks utter rubbish in God's name, claiming - on God's authority - to identify prophetic significance where there is absolutely none. Again, think of all that inane speculation about Strauss and Otto von Habsburg.

Now that really is taking God's name in vain.

Mormon dissent and the Tkach sect

It is remarkable just how much prominence the WCG/GCI transformation has in dissident Mormon circles. Particularly among LDS with evangelical leanings, the changes under Tkach have been inspirational. Here's a recent example. Joe himself has been hauled out as exhibit A in Utah by his evangelical buddies, and the Called to be Free video - a hagiography of Joe & Co. - was produced by a post-Mormon group. The parallels between the two movements (LDS and old WCG) included the God Family and Lost Tribes teachings. If you run across a former LDS who thinks the WCG story is the best thing since sliced bread, do set them straight.

But all that glitters is not gold, and the WCG paradigm is probably not the one to emulate.

(The Called to be Free video is available to view in full online.)

Afflictions of the Righteous

Poor Mister Weinland. Such trials and tribulations! His poor, dear sainted wife Laura - such a cross (er, um, stake) to bear, what with those nasty IRS people sniffing around. Swiss bank accounts you say? This just proves that God's chosen servant is being provident! And now the Prophet/Apostle's daughter, the lovely Audra Little, is caught up in the agony (also here). I'm feeling teary-eyed at the very thought of this terrible injustice. But be thou comforted Audra, many are the afflictions of the righteous. And fear not brethren, they'll never convict Mister Weinland because the Great Tribulation begins in 2008 and...

Oh, wait... hmm.

But never mind, here at AW we're happy to express our unqualified support for the holy martyrs (Ron, Laura and Audra) - tastefully conveying our best wishes via this image of an IRS pencil sharpener. Hopefully Ron will, um, get the point.

The disappearing ThD

Bob Thiel seems to have expunged mention of any Th.D from his bio page. No explanation given, but I guess it amounts to a concession to his critics. Here then are the three versions of his qualifications that Bob has promoted this year.

Version 1: ...I have studied graduate level Early Church History from Fuller Theological Seminary and other schools. A doctor of philosophy (Ph.D.) degree was earned from the Union Institute and University where I studied various biological sciences and research methodologies. I also have other degrees/training, and have studied theology, both formally and informally.

Version 2: ...I have studied graduate level Early Church History from Fuller Theological Seminary and other schools in and out of the USA like T of CU, where a Th.D. in Early Christianity was earned). A doctor of philosophy (Ph.D.) degree was earned from the Union Institute and University where I studied various biological sciences and research methodologies. I also have other degrees/training, and have studied theology, both formally and informally.

Version 3: ...I have studied graduate level Early Church History from Fuller Theological Seminary and other schools in and out of the USA). A doctor of philosophy (Ph.D.) degree was earned from the Union Institute and University where I studied various biological sciences and research methodologies. I also have other degrees/training, and have studied theology, both formally and informally.

Now you see it, now you don't. It remains to be seen whether Bob has done irreparable damage to his credibility by fudging on this issue.

Flying in to Cincinnati

What's happening in Cincinnati this weekend? Word - as yet unconfirmed - is that a gaggle of elders is flying in to roost at Home Office, and they're not happy chappies. Rumors are flying too. To put it diplomatically, we've heard that a matter of discipline may be involved.

So far all we have are questions, but it seems indisputable that UCG has indeed been blessed with "interesting times."

A new COG to check out - sort of

This is just too good to be true...

There's a spoof site called Best Church of God, motto: "We read the Bible so you don't have to," and drawing inspiration from Proverbs 3:5 (Trust in the Lord with all your heart, in your own intelligence rely not.) No, it's not an Armstrong splinter, but it's definitely good enough to be given honorary status! It's Landover Baptist with a biblically sanctioned name.

But here's the rub. One of the BCOG pages features those ubiquitous Google ads, and guess which organizations feature prominently?

Yes, proudly peddling their "literature" at Best Church of God are UCG and the Pack cult. Very ecumenical.

It somehow seems appropriate!

An Evolving Creation

With the recent exchange of rants about evolution and creationism, the following link is offered with some trepidation. This article appears in the latest issue of Lutheran Partners, an ELCA magazine for ministers and lay leaders. It presents a position close to GCI's - though perhaps argued with more cogency than Rex Morgan was able to. Not surprisingly, it has quite a different angle to that offered by "Leonardo."

While the tone of this article may read a little strangely to those in the Church of God tradition (we're hardly the author's primary audience), there are some important points made that are relevant to anyone wanting to avoid parking their brain in order to protect their faith. It won't satisfy the fundamentalists (it'd never make the cut in The Good News), nor those who have a thorough-going secular view, but if you are someone who finds truth a more subtle, contrary reality, then you might find it a welcome alternative to rigidities on both extremes.

Bad Coffee?

Who is this forlorn looking individual? Is the pained expression the result of a really bad cup of joe? Of course, if he was a Kiwi, he'd probably be lamenting the lack of sausage rolls on the table, but he's definitely American.

Clue 1: this fellow's name appeared frequently as a correspondent on AW - both the old version and the current blog. A voice of reason and moderation here that earned much respect.

Clue 2: he seems to have now channeled his energies into politics - this photo was taken in the election year of 2008.

Unrelated observation: it's interesting to note the political choices people make when they leave a marginal religious culture like WCG (and its clones.) Often it's to a similarly non-mainstream group. One of the original collaborators with John Trechak on Ambassador Report took on a leading role with the Libertarian Party, as I recollect it. But no, we're not talking about the Libertarians in association with the gentleman above.

Who will be the first non-anonymous reader to identify our man of mystery?

Postscript: Mike of Flavor Aid fame took it out at the first reply, even providing a link which includes a far more flattering photo. The source for this photograph is here.

Scott has that unwanted feeling...

A cry for help has surfaced on The Philadelphia 10 website. A distraught reader enquires:

How Do I Cancel My Subscriptions And Stop Getting Free Literature From Church Websites & Have My Info Removed?

Egad! Free literature from churches? Which churches could the correspondent possibly be referring to?

I want to cancel my subscriptions from getting free literature from those church websites that you can request free literature from, I have enough free books and magazine from them, I just got 2 magazines today from Good News,
I want all of my information to be removed from the following sites
The United Church Of God
The Philadelphia Church Of God
and all other sites, does anyone know how do I do that??

Quick as a flash, Scott Ashley, GN editor and COE member, shot off this helpful response.

I work for the United Church of God. All you need to do is write to info@ucg.org and request that your name and e-mail address(es) be removed from all lists. Be sure to include all e-mail addresses you might have used and the mailing address to which the publications were sent. They should stop immediately, with the exception of anything that might already be in the mail.

Good work Scott. Honestly, if folk put their names on a list, they've got to expect to get what they sent for. And honestly, I used to get more upset about all those stupid Reader's Digest promotions than anything one of the COGs sent out.

But wait, what's wrong with that plea to Philadelphia 10? Oh no, please don't draw it to Bob Thiel's attention, the complainant only mentions UCG and PCG, not... oh ghastly, where's the LCG?! Quick, someone send out a copy of Tomorrow's World!

2012 - 1936

As the hype hits around 2012 the movie, Wired magazine reminds us of its apocalyptic predecessors, including a certain someone who had the year 1936 tagged.

1936: The Second Coming

America’s heartland is literally covered in dust as Hitler begins exterminating Europe’s Jewish population amid a worldwide depression. Not surprisingly, evangelist Herbert W. Armstrong finds a ready audience for his message that Jesus will start the world over from scratch in 1936. (When that doesn’t happen, Armstrong revises his apocalypse deadline to 1975.)

(Thanks to "DP" for the tip-off)