Monday, 14 April 2008

Bloggin' On

Some good comments on various blogs lately. Two in particular worth mentioning tonight:

Stan Gardner's AR blog: Stan takes a look at the by-laws over at the independent Big Sandy church as they relate to the current situation there, then moves on - using some of the documentation available on Bill's Ekklesia site - to ask some interesting questions about WCG's (including specific ones for Bob Thiel and Roderick Meredith).

Questions to Bob Thiel: As you are an apologist for Armstrong, Ambassador Reports would be interested in hearing if you have any facts on how the 5,051 members noted allegedly voted for this 1968 resolution. Where did this vote occur? How were the votes counted? Prove Armstrong didn't lie, falsify and perjure himself about this church member vote.

Questions for Roderick Meredith:
Were you sitting as a director on the Radio corporate board at this meeting Jan. 5, 1968? Can you then explain how the mysterious 5,051 thousand member vote is in fact legitimate and proper, in supporting your own director's vote, in favor of the board resolution your own boss may have falsified?

Stan has also given his blog a makeover, so well worth checking out if you haven't dropped in for a while.

James Pate's Musings: And now for something completely different: for all those fellow Trekkies out there a few thoughts on the Star Trek Voyager episode Barge of the Dead. It was certainly a memorable show, if one of the "darker" ones.

Saturday, 12 April 2008

"How do we know...

... that you're a prophet, Ronald, and not just some sort of nut-case who's hearing voices in his head?"

That's the question Ron Weinland was asked on Britain's TalkSport radio this week by James Whale (who, as the photos show, actually looks a lot like Ron, except hipper.) I'm not sure Ronnie really answered it. But for those of you unfortunate folk living in the USA, Ronaldo proclaims nuclear attack within sixty days, or maybe ninety... it kinda depends... But those devious Europeans are right now planning a surprise attack on America's port cities (San Francisco, New York.)

And lo, Ronnie will be announcing from Jerusalem just who will join him as number 2 in the Two Witnesses next Sabbath, the 19th. My best guess is Big Bird from Sesame Street.

Are we all excited?

"My end is already written in the book," says Ron. Lucky guy, not everyone gets a personal mention in scripture. And starting the 17th (that's this Thursday) the pope is going to be very unhappy with Ron!

45 -90 days... the second trumpet gets blown. Ronnie seems to be backing away from saying that anything will actually happen on the 17th. Could the old boy be stringing this out while he milks the publicity - and income stream - for all its worth? Perish the thought!

"Why are you going to Jerusalem?"

"That's where my job starts."

You can expect the Israeli authorities will be keeping close tabs on this bloke when he touches down. He probably has a file right next to Rohan's and David Ben Ariel's. My advice? Don't let that sucker off the plane.

You can listen in to Prophet/Witness Weinland's interview right here. Knock yourself out!

Thursday, 10 April 2008

1975 in Prophecy!

Forget the diseased, lunatic ravings of those who think the Great Tribulation begins in just seven days time. God's Apostle has already spoken - and there's no finer authority than that forgotten classic by Mister Armstrong himself - 1975 in Prophecy!
Of course, there's a small problem. This inspired work was withdrawn decades ago. In fact, by the time I began reading church literature in 1970 as a teenager, 1975 in Prophecy! had already been decommissioned.

Hmm... I wonder why? I sense a liberal plot by false brethren here, the precursors to the demon-driven STP cabal and the wicked Tkachites who trashed the Apostle's other inerrant masterpieces... until Gerry's flurry of final restoration.

But why won't Gerry reprint 1975 in Prophecy! ?
The more you think about it, there's got to be a niche here for a new COG sect: the real hold fast Philadelphians. Forget the crass, watered-down liberals like, um, Meredith, Pack, Bryce, Weinland, Coulter and Dankenbring. We could call it the Church of God (1975)... It has a certain ring! But how do we explain the fact that '75 came and went? Not a problem, let Herb be true and every man a liar. Think of it as the ultimate test of faith as you write out your tithe check.

Of course, if you want to be a charter member with a private box in Petra, you'd better get familiar with the sacred text, and here's where Bill Ferguson's Ekklesia site comes in. Click on this Ekklesia link and scan down the page (no. 6) to surf your way to astounding new, or should that be old, truth. Yes folks, this is the 1956 edition in PDF format.

And there's even Basil Wolverton artwork! What bliss... Not even Ronnie can offer that.

Meantime, reset your watches and adjust your calendars.

Tuesday, 8 April 2008

Contemporary COG

Bring out the guitars, raise your hands in praise... no, it's not a Tkach congregation, it's classic COGism for the younger demographic (I can't find many oldies pictured on their website). Lots of kids, guitars... you just know these dudes don't use the purple hymnal!

Who are they? Rock Valley Church. I'm guessing that in a previous (and less cool) incarnation it was called Lake Elsinore Sabbath Church, but I could be wrong.

Well, I'm impressed anyway... if the PR matches the reality (and you have to admit the site looks swish). But - and this will doubtless come as a huge surprise to most of you - I'm a cynical old codger. Does the reality match the carefully crafted hype?

I'm guessing that this is Bill Lussenheide's home patch. Unless I'm mistaken pastor David Liesenfelt is related to and/or a business associate of the Luss. Bill, do you care to share?

Sunday, 6 April 2008

Bad News for The Good News' Bad News Junkies

Here's a crisis for Spanky and the GN team to unite in guttural moans over:

The world's oldest and biggest insurance market said that though the lack of major disasters had allowed firms to push up profits 5% in 2007, underwriting margins were being squeezed...

Oh dear oh dear! What will poor old Ronnie Weinland make of this?

Dennis Diehl, longtime watcher of world news and prophecy, has donned sackcloth and composed a commentary thereon... not to be missed!

Friday, 4 April 2008

Who'd have thunked it?

Question: Who wrote the most Biblical books?

a) Paul
b) John
c) Solomon
d) Moses
c) Art Mokarow

Well, Paul has seven uncontested letters, the Johannine corpus is a bit of a mess (is John the Elder the same as John the Disciple, and what about John of Patmos?) but given the most generous estimate it can't go beyond five. Solomon was credited with Proverbs and Ecclesiastes, but even if that was so (and it isn't) it counts as only two. Moses has four to his credit, if you discount the efforts of JEP and D...

But Art Mokarow is clearly the winner, and here's proof from an ad appearing on Alan Ruth's Journal website (Alan is webmaster, and seems to be contracted to handle its day to day running.)

Order Free CD that unlocks the Bible's Mysteries
by Art Mokarow, author of 12 Biblical books!

Impressive!

Tuesday, 1 April 2008

Strong Thunder or Brain-dead Blunder?

The latest issue of The Journal is on its way to subscribers, and its got a finger on the pulse of several significant issues.

For starters there's coverage of the Weinland cult. There is a revealing treasury of Ronnie's written claims, though The Journal - being The Journal and polite to a fault - dignifies the self-proclaimed End Time prophet and Witness with the honorific "Mr. Weinland." (Be assured that Hell will freeze over before this practice is adopted here.) The title "Strong Thunder" is borrowed from this article.

The Big Sandy situation gets an airing. Dave Havir wishes peace on all, while John Warren has nothing to share but his disappointment. As Dr. Smith repeatedly said on the 60's TV show Lost In Space: "The pain... oh the pain!"

There's extensive coverage of the Mokarow/Carrozzo conflab recently held in Dallas. There were 19 speakers with a daily attendance of around 35, which you'd have to say is a somewhat modest achievement. Among those turning up for the occasion were such notables as Anthony Buzzard and David Sielaff.

There's coverage of the latest palpitations on the UCG's council, with several pairs of knickers apparently tightly knotted over the issue of "bloc voting".

Reg Killingley has a column on promoting peace, a relevant topic given Reg attends the Big Sandy church. Dave Havir tackles the issue of Apostolic succession (which indicates, I guess, that the Big Sandy brethren aren't about to ordain him Bishop or even provide Dave with a gilded pectoral cross...) Dennis Diehl has some thoughts on the narcissistic New Age fluff in The Secret.

In short, for COG news junkies it's an issue not to miss. Download the front and back pages, or even better, get a subscription and help ensure that Dixon can keep this much needed resource going. (Note to the webmaster - it's not easy to shuffle through all that detritus on the main page to actually find subscription details...)

Saturday, 29 March 2008

What Meredith knows about Atheists

The aged Presiding Evangelist awoke with a new question buzzing between his gray temples. It was clearly a visionary experience, for when was the last time he had stumbled upon a new question? 1953?

Moving with remarkable rapidity for one so advanced in years, he grabbed a sharp yellow pencil with shaking hands and wrote the question down on the back of the draft co-worker letter he had been working on the night before:

"Why Atheists?"

Not "why atheism?", which might seem the more logical title, but "why atheists?" Clearly this was a case of divine inspiration. The Eternal Himself had appeared to His servant in a dream of Danielic proportions and planted this very question. If only he could remember the dream itself! Perhaps the great God needed to keep his faithful servant humble. Humility, the Presiding Evangelist mused, is no easy thing, but I do my best.

Over the next several days the number three person in the Government of God (under, of course, God the Father and Jesus Christ) pondered deeply on the new question. Long decades of sinless living provided him with keen insight and soon he was penning the profound truth - soon to be published for all the world to see in the March-April issue of Tomorrow's World.

Why atheists? How plain the truth actually is! Atheists have been deceived by the theory of evolution into ignoring the undeniable proof of Bible prophecy!

And if anyone knew about Bible prophecy it was the presiding evangelist.

Perhaps without realizing it, today's atheists basically "hide their heads in the sand" and simply ignore the awesome prophecies of the great God, as recorded in His inspired word! Yet they are not being fully honest intellectually, unless they admit into their minds the knowledge of the great God of creation, and how He has intervened in the past and even now is intervening in human affairs!
(Emphasis in original)

Naturally, it would be problematic to list any or all of those awesome prophecies: it was unlikely, but there's always a smart-ass who insists on checking them out in Eerdmans Commentary or some such "intellectual" reference work, and that would cause problems. If they were tithing as they ought to there shouldn't be a problem - they simply couldn't afford a copy, but nothing could be guaranteed in these Laodicean End Times. Best to keep it general - a quote from Isaiah 46 in the NKJV about "declaring the end from the beginning" should do the trick - and then he could move on to swat a few more dead flies: the six-day creationist types who willfully ignore the gap theory share in the blame for atheists. The question of suffering is checkmated by the concept of free will. False Christianity has muddied the waters...

The presiding evangelist sat back in his leather swivel chair and paused. The new question was answered. It was another inspired article - almost (a little thrill ran down his spine) God-breathed... but one must be humble, and he whispered the word to himself again: almost!

Friday, 28 March 2008

DCM - a different COG ministry...


Here's a link to a COG ministry that breaks the mold.

No dire warnings about impending doom and gloom.

No nonsense about Anglos being Israelites.

No thinly veiled conservative political pontifications parading as insightful inside-track news commentary.

It may be that Wes White believes all or some of the above - don't know and don't particularly care. But Dynamic Christian Ministries - operated by Wes, wife Nancy and Jared Weese - substitutes puppet shows for ponderous preachments, so who can complain?

Wes is also the author of a Dan Brown-style novel, Clan of Lilith - obviously a long-time independent thinker.

Did I mention the blog?

It's nice to occasionally prove the "anti-COG" fulminations of Dr Thiel wrong by giving some positive coverage to intra-COG developments. Examples are admittedly few and far between, so it's a pleasure to acknowledge them when possible.

Wednesday, 26 March 2008

COGs Online


It's been awhile since AW last looked at how the Internet was being used by COG sects and ministries. The following "top ten" list is based on Alexa rankings earlier this week.

1. Ronnie Weinland's the-end.com. Depressing! This guy's temporary "success" is like rat poison for the less screwy COGs. Ranked in the 108k band. If that sounds low, consider that the Southern Baptist official website only manages 283k!

2. I think I'm getting a headache. In at 119k is the Pack cult (thercg.org)

3. Okay, so there aren't too many GN fans here, but in this company the GN is positively balanced and rational: 127k.

4. In at 138k, it's Joe & Co: wcg.org

5. Grab a barf bag. Pack takes out no. 5 with his realtruth website. 141k.

6. The numerically biggest COG group - ucg.org manages to rank in the 160k band

7. A round of applause for amateur night: biblestudy.org (222k)

8. Gerry Flurry's trumpet toots in at 248k, just inside the top quarter million.

9. Hulme's vision.org - 252k.

10. Spanky and the team in Charlotte bring up the caboose at 342k with tomorrowsworld, slightly ahead of UCG's beyondtoday (358k) but well behind those Southern Baptists!

Of course, Alexa's rankings are based on a sample... and the lower they go the more subject to error. But for the top ten above the indicators are probably right on the money. You can check out your favorite/least favorite site's current status for yourself here.