the painful truth about the worldwide church of god
Rape Counseling Telephone Call
by John B

(Author’s note: The following fantasy is written specifically for those of you who persist in writing to The Painful Truth to accuse us of being “bitter”, or urging us to “get over it”.  I hope you can follow the analogy below – some of you aren’t too bright.  jb)


A telephone rings.  A lady answers it.

Edith :  Good morning, Rape Recovery Center.  Can I help you?

Petty :  Um, yes, hello.  My name is Petty Poop and I was looking on your web site last night?

Edith :  Yes?

Petty :  Well, you know, I was, um, reading the stories posted by some of the girls in your center?  About their experiences with rapists?  And I, um, I just wanted to say that, um, they all sound really bitter!

Edith :  (long pause)  Well, Ms. Poop, they’ve all been raped.  How do you expect them to sound?

Petty :  Well, um, it just seems to me that it’s, um, you know, like, counterproductive, you know?  I mean, what’s the point of dwelling on it?  It can’t be changed now, can it?  Why don’t they just, you know, get over it?

Edith :  (flabbergasted)  Get over it?  Maybe you didn’t hear me, Ms. Poop – these women were RAPED!  Forcibly raped, against their will.  Do you understand what that means?

Petty :  Oh, sure, I know what rape is.  But, you know, sex is what you make of it.  If you have low expectations... well, you know.  And if you, you know, expect too much?  It really sucks.

Edith :  (still flabbergasted)  Ms Poop, we’re not talking about sex!  We’re talking about rape!  Do you understand the difference?

Petty :  Don’t insult me - of course I do!

Edith :  Have you ever been raped?

Petty :  I’ve had sex lots of times, with lots of men.  I never once cried rape.  Like I said, sex is what you make of it.

Edith :  (trembling with rage)  Ms. Poop, unless you have something substantive to say, I’m going to hang up now.  You and I have nothing to discuss.

Petty :  Well don’t hang up yet.  I mean, I only called because, you know, I want to help.

Edith :  How can you help?

Petty :  I wish I could sit down with some of your girls and, you know, teach them.  I know they’re like, you know, suffering and all, but, um, I think maybe they brought most of it on themselves, you know?

Edith :  (long pause) Would you care to explain that?

Petty :  Well, sure, you know, I mean, um, lots of girls ask for it, don’t they?  I mean, when I go out, I dress the part, you know?  Tight and slinky, and it always works.  I always attract a man, you know?

Edith :  It sounds like you are talking about consensual sex.  The women in this center and on the web site did not experience consensual sex.  They were RAPED!  Some of them were small children at the time, others were elderly.

Petty :  Oh, sure, I’m sure they think they were raped, but one woman’s rape is another woman’s rape fantasy, you know?

Edith :  These were not rape fantasies.  They are documented crimes that have been reported to the police.  In the majority of cases, the rapists have not been apprehended.  They are still out there victimizing women.  Who knows, Ms. Poop, one of them might get you next!

Petty :  (unperturbed)  I just wish the girls didn’t sound so, you know, bitter!  I mean, one girl on the website wrote that she’ll never have sex again.  That’s, um, horrible, you know?

Edith :  You’re talking about Jane D.  No, she probably will never have sex again.  Her genitals were mutilated by a broken bottle.

Petty :  Well, gosh, she shouldn’t take it so hard, you know?  I mean, to give up on sex just because of one bad experience – you know, like, it doesn’t make all sex evil.  Does it?

Edith :  Did you eat paint chips as a kid?

Petty :  And that one girl, Wanda somebody – she said, like, every time a man looks at her, like, she wants to cut off his dick!

Edith :  I’m sure she does.

Petty :  Well that’s just horrible!  Don’t you think?

Edith :  I think rape is horrible and men that rape deserve whatever happens to them.

Petty :  I’ve had sex thousands of times, you know?  And I’ve never wanted to cut off somebody’s dick.

Edith :  You’ve never been raped, have you?

Petty :  It takes a submissive attitude.  Men love women, they want to love women, and sex is the way they express that love.  If you don’t have a submissive attitude, well, you know, I mean, you might have a bad experience.

Edith :  Did anyone ever tell you that you’re a fucking idiot?

Petty :  Oh!  How hurtful!  How could you, like, say that?

Edith :  Trust me, it was easy.

Petty :  I don’t see how you can condemn all sex just because of one or two bad experiences.  I mean, like, that girl Carol, you know?  She said -”

Edith :  (interrupting)  Carol was kidnapped, beaten, tortured, raped, stabbed, and left for dead!  For god’s sake, have you ever had that happen to you?

Petty :  I, um, think she just has a bad attitude, you know?  I mean, if she had just been submissive -”

Edith :  Oh, Jesus Christ!

Petty :  See, that’s what I’m talking about, you know?  Just listen to yourself, you know?  Do you, like, hear what you’re saying?

Edith :  I hear exactly what I’m saying!  What I don’t understand is what you’re trying to say!  She was raped by Ted Bundy, and she’s probably the only woman ever to survive him!

Petty :  I know Ted Bundy had sex with a lot of women...”

Edith :  (shouting)  Ted Bundy KILLED a lot of women!

Petty :  ...but he loved a lot of women, you know.  I mean, don’t you think he loved women?  Why else would he have sex with so many?  He wanted to love them, but they probably weren’t submissive to him.

Edith :  So you think that’s why he killed them?

Petty :  They brought it on themselves!  Don’t you see?

Edith :  Ted Bundy was a murdering savage.  He hated women.

Petty :  Oh, there you go again!  Now you sound bitter, too!

Edith :  I am bitter, goddammit!  I was raped four years ago!  That’s why I started this recovery center and website, to help others like myself.

Petty :  Well, um, don’t you think it’s time to, like, forgive?

Edith :  Forgive who?  The punk who raped me?

Petty :  Um, sure.  I mean, maybe he feels bad about it.

Edith :  Oh, I’m sure he does.  After they caught him, he posted bail.  While he was waiting for trial he raped two more women.  He’s doing fifteen to life right now – I’m sure he feels really bad about that!

Petty :  Well...

Edith :  If that fucker wants to apologize, then I might consider forgiving him.  But he hasn’t, and I hope he rots in prison.

Petty :  Did you, like, give him the opportunity?  I mean, to apologize?

Edith :  Sure.  I was in the courtroom every day of his trial, sitting right behind him.  All he had to do was turn around and say “I’m sorry”, but he didn’t.  He kept saying he didn’t do it, and when they sentenced him, he flipped me off.

Petty :  I’m sure he’s, like, hurting inside, you know?

Edith :  Not nearly as bad as I was hurting all over when he finished with me.

Petty :  I think you’re just, like, well, you know, so – bitter!

(Author’s note:  This conversation has no conclusion.  It never ends.  If Edith hangs up on Petty Poop, some other dimwit will call and recite the same exhausted mantra.  If you haven’t understood this analogy, just substitute the word “Jesus” for the word “rape”, “cult” for the word “sex”, and “Armstrong” for “Ted Bundy”.  It won’t read evenly, but you’ll get the idea...


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