the painful truth about the worldwide church of god

Email To The Editor
(Page 37)

(Mail from Kooks, Nuts and Loonies is on another page)


Subject: Real Loser

 You said, "Would that be showing love to those still trapped in lies, deceit and guilt'? Why do yoy really give a "crap"? Where is this love "thing" coming from? (think)! Why is your website concentrated on religion (specifically HWA)? Why don't you tackle some of the other injustices in society, taxes, job discrimination, total government control, child molesters, etc. You seem to think you have become very rip-off aware, you've got yourself together and "no one" is going to fool you. Sorry, but you need to back off and reread what you have written and realize that you are being duped by the master "dupper" Satan! Basically what you are doing is saying, "Because someone put "garbage" in my food I'll show them, I wont eat their "garbage" and futhermore just to show them I just wont eat at all". Hey, don't worry about us. We know, we've been there, we've taken our licks and come out kicking. Not at HWA or any other "ministers" (its not worth the energy), but at the real enemy, Satan. If you allow this to totally disillusion you in God, Jesus, the Bible then you have really taken the ultimate "snow" job!

 Lost the battle, not the war,
 Jaunita DuVall

The following is a my response to a lady whose fiancé, was raised in the church and he is now looking for a church that teaches herbie's brand of religious poison.

 Name Withheld,

You have good reason to be a scared.

After spending 25 years in this cult, I think I know what I am talking about. It appears as though your intended will be happier in one of the spin-offs of Armstrongism than he would in the present Worldwide Church of God. Present wcg is probably not much worse than any other mainstream church.

Before you marry him, you should study all the beliefs and doctrines of Armstrongism. The Philadelphia Church of God would probably suit him the best as it teaches almost exactly as herbie did. Subscribe to their magazine and read about some of their wacko beliefs. Realize though, that you will not be able to get to their real teachings until you sit in their services and get your dose of guilt and fear first hand. Some of these wacky churches won't even let you attend until you are a member and have already vowed allegiance to the ministry. Its crazy but they are able to find enough members to make religion a lucrative business for entrepreneurs with no conscience.

Even though you may not accept any of the wacky teachings of Armstrongism, you will have to live with them if your husband believes them. Read through the personal pages on the PT and you will discover not just what the churches publicly admit about their beliefs but also what the everyday life in these churches is really like.

It has to be a like living in an insane asylum for someone whose beliefs are different from the members. I can't imagine being in such a marriage myself, although I have seen some people with non-member mates who have survived. Whether the struggle to survive in such a marriage is worth the sacrifice is up to each individual to decide. I sympathize with your conundrum.

All the physical evidence that I have regarding the sexual dalliances of herbie are some very marked up and highlighted newspaper articles. They do not photograph very well. I suppose that the original articles might still be available. If I get a chance, I will try to get an unmarked up copy. I doubt that it will help your case much though. Even if your man throws out herb himself, he may still want to hang onto his teachings. They always will use the David Defense. They will make excuses for the man instead of seeing that his doctrines are discredited by his evilness.

It is very difficult for anyone to dissuade someone else from their religious beliefs because these beliefs are not based on fact. All religions are based on things that cannot be proven. It is all an attempt to explain the unknown but the explainers have no greater insight into this great unknown then the people that admit they don't have any answers but are willing to follow. You say that he is smart. Doesn't seem to have a lot to do with it when you are talking about religion, although it does seem to be that the more intelligent you are, the less you can be swayed by illogical presumptions and reasonings.

One thing you will have to resign yourself to is living in relative poverty, at least compared to what you could have. The diehard Armstrongites believe in three tithes on your gross income. But take heart, this is only every third year. The rest of the years you only have to tithe two tithes.

Say your gross pay is $1000 per week. Taxes may take $207 and, if you are smart, you will be taking out another $140 for 401k. That adds up to $1000-$347=$653 left for you. Also, most of us have to pay something towards our healthcare plan so take out another $50 per week. That leaves you with $603

But now, if you have to tithe and give your hard-earned money to religious conmen, and if you are in third tithe year, you must set aside $300 of your paycheck for tithes. That means your $603 must be reduced by $300. So you get to try to live on $303 dollars each week out of your original $1000. Now, I will grant you that the church will be telling you that you will not need that $140 you are putting into the 401k because the end of the world will be coming any day now, so that will mean some extra money but not much since you will not be able to spend the full $140 because now you will have to pay taxes on it if you don't put it into the 401k. And this will also mean that you will not have a decent retirement fund once your husband finally wakes up from his religious delusion or you finally have had enough of the craziness of religion and take your kids and get a divorce. You will also be able to forgo the cost of health insurance since God will be giving you divine protection. If He messes up in this protection scheme or if He wants to test you with a health trial, he can also be counted on as your healer. And, if for some reason or other you are not a good person, worthy of being healed, all your "believer" relatives have to come up with are your burial costs.

Don't forget to save some money for the eight different Holy Day offerings; you wouldn't want to appear before God "empty." And make sure it is enough so that you will not go away feeling guilty. (We are definitely not talking about $5 or $10 offerings here. You had better be coughing up real dough.) Oh, I almost forgot, that is impossible to do no matter how much you give. And there will, no doubt, be special offerings that you will have to contribute to when "satan" attacks the church. And save some money for the "building fund."

So many problems in marriages can be caused by not having enough money to live on or by spending what you do have foolishly. Giving your money to these "godly" crooks is spending it foolishly.

If you like rummage sales, wearing other peoples' old clothing, not going out to eat, not going out to movies, not going out period, driving an old car in need of repair and with bald tires, living in an apartment and paying the landlord's mortgage for him instead of your own, having to work for the rest of your life because you have no savings for retirement, living from paycheck to paycheck trying to figure out which bills to pay this week and which to let slide until next week, and being looked upon by your neighbors as just plain weird, then you are going to fit in with this guy just great.

Read what their beliefs are regarding the submission of the wife in the marriage. See if you will be able to tolerate that point of view. You have to realize that you are going to be in second place in this man's life. God's appointed ministers will be telling this man how to live his life and following his religion must come before everything else. When this man has to leave for the "place of safety", you will not be allowed to go along, since you are unconverted. He will want to take your children with him. You will be looked down upon by other church members because you are unconverted, even though you may also be a "Christian." You will be under constant pressure to change your beliefs to match his. He will be doing this out of concern for you since you will have to go through the tribulation if you are not also one of God's chosen people.

It is not a pretty picture I am afraid and I have not even scratched the surface.

My advice would be to put your best running shoes on and run as fast as you can away from this guy. Doesn't matter if he is the best looking guy around. Doesn't matter if he has a lot of money. Doesn't matter if you love him with all your heart. What you are considering doing will probably screw up the rest of your life.

Look before you leap.

 I have scanned the newspaper articles and have made some links to them from the following page:


Note that these links to the scans will take a few minutes to load. Also be aware that many persons have copied and recopied these scans and highlighted with colors that do not copy.

Also be aware that, for true believers, nothing will change their minds.

Good luck. I wish you the best.



 This question was asked of you, "Are you crazy?"

In my humble opinion, you are not crazy (although you may be a bit mental). You simply write the plain truth of your life experiences, and your opinions. I think you are providing a valuable service, despite the accusations of some who would label you "hateful."

Kev in California

 When I first visited your site (and the Graveyard Church of God), it would literally tear me to pieces and it took several days to "get over it." The websites brought back so many bad memories and experiences. However, whenever I would get over the trauma, I felt so much better -it was a healing process. And your website has helped me more than anything else to begin to come to "real closure." I hope this makes sense.

I was shocked and stunned at the things I learned at your website about the bible and about jesus christ. I still believe in a "something" God, too many things have happened, but I don't know who or what he is. However, I now know many things that God is "not."


 I think your site is great, for the following reason (s).

On your site I saw stories THAT COULD HAVE COME OUT OF MY OWN MOUTH!

A major problem I have experienced is that I have had no way to validate my experiences.. further causing more doubts than I had already gathered over the years, but reading about other's experiences has made me feel a lot better.

"Church" members have consistently told me about my attitude... for years and years!... since the split, about 1995 in South Africa, I had attempted to find "remnants" of the "body" which had split off from Worldwide (ie Tkach etc). These splits were WORSE than Worldwide, in that I felt like a piece of dirt in the presence of most of these people; if you did not agree 100%, you were basically unacceptable.

I have to say also, that my main gripe all the years with the church has NEVER been doctrinal, my problem has been in the BEHAVIOUR AND TREATMENT of each other... just like Pharisees, they said one thing, and DID another... how ironical, since they loved to bash us and say that love is a verb, etc etc.

Even though your site is pretty much against the bible (?), this very book provides evidence that the church did NOT behave ACCORDING to the book!

For Children: "....fathers do not provoke your children...."

For Wives: "...husbands LOVE your wives even as Christ GAVE HIMSELF for the church..."

General: "... a new commandment I give you... that you love one another AS I HAVE LOVED YOU..." (ie Christians allow themselves to be sacrificed/crucified for each other, washing of feet attitude etc etc)

General: " THIS they shall know that you are my disciples... THAT YOU LOVE ONE ANOTHER..."

The verses above prove that most in the church were just talkers, not doers.

Good Luck to those that have left.

About a year ago, I gave up with the Church of the Great God (John Ritenbaugh's group). One of his ministers, Darryl Henson, had finally shown his true colours. I e-mailed him to say that if he ever came near me, I would slit his throat for him!

Servant of God my arse!

They PRETEND to be great friends with you, then they TURN ON YOU when they've won your confidence, and tell you to straighten yourself out, whatever that means!

Feel free to publish this e-mail if you wish.

ABOUT FORGIVING: The bible does NOT say I must forgive 70 x 7....

It says ... "IF HE REPENT.... Thou shalt forgive him 70 x 7..."

BIG DIFFERENCE!!!! Otherwise, the wifebattering syndrome kicks in!





Keep reading and learning and above all, keep THINKING. These cults do not want you to be able to think on your own. When you can do that, you are an extreme danger to them and their money machine.



 Dear Editor:

Your note to Name Withheld page 37 of Letters to the Editor was helpful and to the point. Also helpful would be a letter from the wife of a Worldwide Church of God member that was published in issue #31 of Ambassador Report. She tells what it's like to be married to an Armstrong worshipper:

My sympathies to the woman from Minnesota who wrote (AR, July 1984, p. 12) concerning the pain of living with a hardcore Worldwide Church of God husband. I have one of those too, and, like her, I feel like screaming at people who admonish me to get off the back of this "good, nice person" who "isn't hurting anything or anyone."

Isn't he? How do you explain the hundreds perhaps thousands of divorces directly attributable to a mate's membership in the Worldwide Church of God? Is that why "The Church" has actually had to hold classes on dealing with the violently unhappy reactions of "unconverted" spouses?

What uninformed observers don't realize is that the Worldwide Church of God is not simply a belief system, but an alarmingly rigid cult whose strange practices and excessive demands temporal, monetary, and cultural can leave a marriage in shambles when one partner buys into it.

If you happen to be unlucky enough to have a husband in Armstrongism, it's as if a third party who from now on calls all the shots has suddenly been introduced into the marriage. Life becomes thoroughly abnormalized, with hardly any aspect left unaffected.

For starters, you find yourself alone a good deal as your husband begins to put in long hours on sabbaths, services, "feasts, " "holy days, " Bible studies, potlucks, meetings, special events, rehearsals, whatnot. (You can kiss weekends and vacations goodbye for the same reasons unless you agree to attend services with him and "vacation" only at feast sites.)

Your social life begins to disappear. He won't attend traditional holiday parties, and hostesses are put off by his dietary taboos on other occasions as well. Your best friends gradually slip away, and invitations dwindle to nothing. His time is too limited, his practices too restrictive, the marital tension too evident. Eventually (as the woman from Minnesota noted) only Worldwide Church of God members remain friends which for the nonmember spouse amounts to being forced to fraternize with the enemy or have no social life at all. Many Worldwide Church of Goders are pleasant enough personally, but there's still pain in associating with them; no matter how you slice it, they're still my husband's compatriots and supporters in a pursuit that brings me great grief. On top of this, I'm just plain uncomfortable in their presence because I can't understand them. What kind of people are these that they can't see through that unsavory old man [HWA] and his ripoff cult?

Add to all of this your worry about being widowed because of the Worldwide Church of Gods anti-medicine stance. If you have children, you stew over their welfare as well: What if he refuses THEM needed treatment in your absence? Your pre-WCG family observances birthdays and holidays become empty and depressing, exactly as if you had divorced. The joy goes out of celebrating when the husband and father is absent, even if the absence is in attitude rather than physical presence. Family relationships suffer irreparably little remains to share and discuss when his time is so limited and so many activities are prescribed. After awhile a cloud of resentment permeates every thing. On top of all this, there is the tremendous financial drain something the woman from Minnesota didn't even mention, surprisingly. There is also the matter of having to cope with the pinchpenny attitudes engendered by these huge donations. Is it "not hurting anyone" to give away thousands while your family does without? Is it being a "good Christian" to let your home become ramshackle and tumbledown because you're too busy with church activities to maintain it?

Probably worst of all is the sheer FRUSTRATION of watching an otherwise intelligent man check his fine mind at the door and embrace an organization run by someone as totally despicable as HWA. Virginia Kineston (AR, July 1984, p. 7) put it well when she referred to him as "a liar, a thief and a pervert. "Are the members utterly blind that they go on swallowing his incestuous past, his hypocrisies, his failed prophecies? What about his constant tacky money-grubbing, his egomania, his lavish living, his changing of the rules to suit himself? How can they remain unmoved at the sight of all the suicides, broken homes, and custody cases that trail after him? Why don't they question his pose as an expert on child rearing when he abused his daughter for years and his grown children despise him? What do all the broken families that were "D & R" victims have to say about his marrying and then divorcing a divorcee himself? The sickening list goes on and on.

Not hurting anything or anyone? I think of my own years of loneliness, alienation, grief, pain, worry, and financial loss and my customary compassion deserts me. I'll be out celebrating on the day Herbert Armstrong dies.

You have my permission to print this, but PLEASE sign it:

-"Name and state withheld by request."

There are other letters in that issue on the same subject. She can read the entire issue at: http :// AmbassadorReport/files/AR31.html

Regards, Marc

 Name Withheld,

I was never a minister. But what if I was? We have one former minister that contributes regularly to the website: John O, and his contributions are welcome. I would more than welcome all former ministers to repent as John has, and give up their jobs as "ministers" as a true sign of repentance. With proper repentance, ministers can once again be decent people, if they ever were. You can check the Apology Page to see what a rare event that is.

I think Ed's purpose of signing the apology page was just to set the example so that others would do the same. Unfortunately, that has not been the case. As a matter of fact, I have been told that Ed was a very caring Deacon and the worst thing that he had to repent of was for putting a guilt trip on two elderly ladies for their not attending the FOT for the full eight days. That's not counting how he screwed his kids lives up or at least changed them from what they could have been, but we all do that in one way or another.

If he feels bad about putting a guilt trip on two old ladies, how much more guilt should the real purveyors of evil, the ministry, feel? But they don't feel at all. They don't have to because Jesus forgives them and we should too. The PT says that that is not enough.

Good to hear that the PT site has been a benefit to you. At no cost to you, I might add. As more people get on the internet, these God pimps will no longer be able to get away with their lies. I have heard projections that, within five years, 70% of all households will have internet access and the access will be almost instantaneous. One more reason why Tkach, once he gets the money, is going to disband Worldwide Church of God and take the money and run. One more reason why all these other abusers better be looking for other jobs.


 Editor, I need you help, and maybe everyone else's.

My fianc,'s name is Lori. We have been together for almost a year. She knows about our former cult, but she has never lived through anything like it. She wants to understand me better, and help me.

Lori asked me if there was anything available to educate her, and others, about what you and I have been through. Lori asked me if there were any "basher meetings" for spouses of the "abused."

Lori wants to know if there is a way for current spouses to "get a handle" on what we have been through -so she can understand me better.

It was only tonight that I learned that Lori was terrified of me reading this website and writing to you. She thought that I was contacting the "church," but when I explained that I was contacting the "church bashers" and that I was in contact with others like me -she understood and felt much, much better. (Then she liked you.) This was bothering her a lot more than she let me know -until tonight.

I have told her much about our former cult, but she has never "lived" anything like this. Lori really wants to understand. And Lori has already proven many times that everything she learns about me, she uses to encourage me, and to build me up -to make me a better man, and a better person. Everything she learns about me she uses to make "us" better.

Lori wants to flush the commode on all of the past shit, and get on with "our" lives. But at the same time, she fully realizes that we have to "deal" with the shit before we can get "over" the shit.

And Lori has told me straight out -even after 12 years of scratching, clawing and digging my way out of the belly of the whore -I am still not over it.

During the last 12 years I have been totally and completely alone, with no help. But then I met Lori -and then I found this website.

What can we do to help our spouses that we meet "after the church" to better understand us?

The answer to this may well take a team effort. The question is so new to me that I have not had time to analyze any answers, just the question.

If we all think about this; you, Ed, John O, myself and others -maybe there is an answer...

If you know of others in the Tampa, FL area -dinner is on us -I have a gold card. Except for the week of June 26th. Lori has had a dream since she was an early teenager. On the week of the 26th -we will be in Jamaica. (No gangue please.) Five days and four nights -all inclusive. I suspect that when I get back -I will be a better man, and a better person.

Lori's question has raised my thinking by an order of magnitude -or more. It is a question that demands an answer -and I wonder how many others need the same answer.

As Lori said, in order to get "over" the shit -we have to "deal" with the shit. But that doesn't mean just us. It means those who bond themselves to us with their very hearts, lives and souls. Others who have never lived in the cult.

herbie arm$$ has been dead for over 14 years -yet the war goes on. His insanity is affecting people who never heard his words, or ever read his "writings."

Let's all think about this -and see if we can give Lori an answer...



 I would suggest that you post your message to the PT Forum and get the advice of many people.

My opinion is that you will never get over what has happened to you. It will go more and more into the background of your life, but it will always be with you. There will always be regrets and the feeling that your life has been raped.

How do you explain it to someone else? I guess it is like asking a rape victim to explain her or his feelings. The regrets of being in the wrong place. The regrets of trusting someone who later on violates you. The knowledge that you were partly at fault because you believed the con-men. The knowledge that your potential in life was stolen from you. The knowledge that the con-men continue with their con-game, with no regrets, no apology, no repentance.

The best revenge we are going to get is to have a good life without needing these scum of the earth. And life is so much better without them than it was with them.

Life can still be good and you can have a happy marriage. Your wife just has to understand that you have been thru a traumatic, life-changing experience. The rape analogy is still a good one. People will blame the victim and have all kinds of reasons why it is her fault but the fault lies with the rapist. And I hate to dwell on this "victim" theme because it makes us look like we are just whiners when someone did something very evil to us, all in the name of God. If someone robs a store, nobody blames the store owner for not having enough security or for not having a gun, or for not screening everyone that walks through his door. They rightfully put the blame on the perpetrator of the crime. Bad enough that those that violated us, did what they did, but then, to go unpunished for their evil, is completely unjust. And then to say that if we don't forgive them, we are not right with god, boggles the mind.

I don't even mind all those other Armstrongite clones out there that have sucked off members from worldwide so that they can have their own little money machines made up of religious dummies. What really grinds my ass is these crooks in the Worldwide Church of God not only continuing their con-game but they continue to keep the very same name, Worldwide Church of God, that raped all of us for so many years. Why can't they just go away and rename their church so that, at least in name, the abusers of the past are gone and we no longer have to bear hearing that despicable name? Well, they can't do it because the main tithe-payers are the ones that would leave if they ever changed the name of the church. Their reasoning is that "god called me into this church, and that is where god wants me to be." And so, to continue to rip money off these religious, although sincere, idiots, they continue to use the name that revolts those of us that had our lives and prosperity and future stolen.

For me, my life is good. If it wasn't for this webpage, I would hardly think of the Worldwide Church of God. You can't avoid it though when Saturday rolls around. But now we think about how thankful we are that we are no longer misled by religious, pompous fools. We enjoy our freedom and spit in Armstrong's and Tkach's face while we do it.

We can also be thankful that, without that evil church, we would probably never have achieved the understanding of religion that we have today. With all that we have suffered at the hands of these crooks, I would not trade in the peace of mind and understanding that I have now.



 Editor, Thank you for your reply.

Ed said something so profound that it etched itself into my mind forever... "Don't do your research IN the bible, do your research ON the bible."

To anyone with even a "sliver" of open mindedness, the bible and religion will dissolve like cotton candy in a thunder storm. Religion is pure superstition and wishful thinking -it is also a mind trap. Religion is "Pascal's wager" run amok.

 Now you have said something equally profound... " We enjoy our freedom and spit in Armstrong's and Tkach's face while we do it. We can also be thankful that, without that evil church, we would probably never have achieved the understanding of religion that we have today. With all that we have suffered at the hands of these crooks, I would not trade in the peace of mind and understanding that I have now."

 Editor, let's confront the predators -and let's kick some ass.



2 the Editors:

Having just read (the PT site's) GTA's article on forgiveness, I have to say that this guy never ceases to amaze me.  He should have left the planet in shame by now, but he launches out in an avalanche of hallucinogenic verbal diarrhea, then simply says - in effect:

"Sure I may have sinned, but it's ALL YOUR FAULT, because you haven't forgiven me."

Never once in his whole (interleaved Biblical mish-mash of justification) blurb, did he ever say that he sinned.  Nor did he directly apologize for any sins committed.  The article is almost entirely directed to everyone else.  According to GTA, we're all the bad guys here, because we don't forgive people - like Teddy in his un-repentance.

Sure, I'm all for forgiving people, but there IS one big condition.  The offender MUST be repentant first.  If the offender doesn't give a damn for his/her wrong, then they'll do it again and again, and again.  That ain't repentance.  If someone is not sorry for his actions (and this gives the latitude to continue in that sin), then there can be no forgiveness.  And that, Teddy, is IN the Bible.  Go read it kid:  Luke 17:3-4.  And this is from YOUR book, not mine.

Hey GTA - get the message:

"Where there is NO repentance, then there can be NO forgiveness."

GTA - it's all your that sin/s that lie at the door, so don't blame others because we won't stumble over each other with forgiveness for you, while you mumble Bible quotations to us.  Where's your apology?  Try the PT site and the APOLOGY PAGE.  It's awaits your signature.  Wouldn't that be something?  At least then, we'd have more respect for you as a man if you were really sincere. 

I'm truly saddened that so many duped folks in CGI still believe this slimy, superficial, syrupy, verbal dance with words, with the avalanche of the Bible quotes, and the veiled, unwarranted justification at all the evil done. 

I do not have a closed mind on this, but if GTA is really sorry, then let's see the fruits.

Best.  JohnO.

Hi Editor:
I just stumbled across a website called the GodBiz, and has been written by a reporter with NO axe to grind.  The article's kinda long, but you can read it all.  It's priceless.  Here is a snippet:
"-- America's all-time champion evangelist was Garner Ted Armstrong, whose national broadcasts drew $75 million a year to the Worldwide Church of God run by Garner and his father, Herbert W. Armstrong. (That's double the amount collected by Billy Graham.) Money poured in from followers, many of whom met in secret groups and donated 30 percent of their incomes. Garner lived like a maharaja in a California mansion with his own private jet, elegant sports cars -- and, allegedly, female believers in bed. Trouble hit in 1976 when some members published a protest. They accused Garner of sex and Herbert of self-enrichment. Chess champion Bobby Fischer said the elder Armstrong had used "mind control" to take nearly $100,000 from him. In 1978 the father fired the son, who started a new television religion.

In 1979 the California attorney general filed a receivership suit accusing Herbert and treasurer Stanley Rader of "pilfering" at least $1 million a year for themselves. Gold bullion owned by the sect was reported missing. Financial records indicated that Herbert and Rader each got salaries of $200,000 plus fabulous expense accounts. Garner accused Rader of taking $700,000 from the church in one year. Garner's sister said Rader had three homes, a horse stable, a Maserati, a Mercedes and a limousine. On June 2 the U.S. Supreme Court upheld the attorney general's right to investigate the church. Meanwhile, little is left of perhaps $1 billion of believers' money that was squandered over the years."

The site address is:


Enjoy the reading, and this dates back twenty years.  God help us, Ed.  It's only gotten worse.

Puke!  Best 4 now.  John.

 Dear Editor,

Just as Ted cannot seem to distinguish between a hooker and a professional health care provider, he also cannot seem to demonstrate that he knows the difference between genuine repentance and profound remorse that he got caught trying to jam his hands down a licensed professional's panties.

After he did not get away with simply lying about it due to his tattoos, he is whining like a wimp over the emotional injury the embarrassment it is causing him.

Poor Ted. Poor, poor Ted. Everyone should put him on their prayer list and contact all of our friends so we can all pray for him together!

 ----Original Message ----From: Derek Green

To: Email "> Email

Sent: Friday, June 16, 2000 9:48 PM

Subject: Get a grip

 Note: although you are probably paranoid this is not a threat.

I was just forwarded a little editorial from your site. YOU NEED TO GET OVER IT (the church and HWA and AC) AND GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE! Yes I spent four years at AC and there was a lot of screwed up sh*t going on there, but I have managed to let it go. I got on with my life. I do not constantly ruminate over how screwed up the church and college were. No, I do not attend Worldwide Church of God. I left after the break up. BUT, I am thankful for the incredible friendships I made at AC and in the Worldwide Church of God and I would put up with all the craziness a thousand times over if I had to for those friends. Hey, screwed up-crazy sh*t happens to lots of people all over the world. Just be thankful HWA didn't feed up the grape kool aide if you know what I mean.

Name withheld because you are all loony and I am quite sane and I am using some one else's e-mail


 Sorry, when you attack and call names, your name will be posted along with your email address. If you used a friend's name and address, that will be his problem with you.


 Hi! Just a quick note:

Have you documented the number of people who have ended up in asylums after the Worldwide Church of God experience? (I know of one who has been in and out.)

Who are you?  Your site is excellent!  Thanks for doing this!  I'll be browsing here for awhile.

 My name is Carol.



 The PT was started a number of years ago by a former deacon in Worldwide Church of God named Ed. At first, for a few years, he gave out his full name and stood up and took the flack from all who wished to throw it at him, even had his picture on one page. Then he began to get too many death threats from the true believers who have a god so weak that they think they have to do His work for Him, since He is obviously incompetent.

Ed never really worried about himself, but about his family and extended family. Didn't think it would be right for anyone else to get hurt because of what he was doing, so he took all names off the webpages, except for the Apology Page and turned the administration of the site over to the Editor, me.

The Editor will remain nameless and the job of running the webpage will be transferred from one Editor to another Editor as people get tired or move on to other things. There will be one Editor but many editors through the years. It is kind of like the trinity, it is a mystery but better and more understandable.


 Help me out a little. Who are you? Are you a friend, associate, what in your relationship to Robert B. Does he or would he agree to your using such profance language as Ass___. Do you think the Lord approves of your language? Or are you a plant from another organization to just make certain people look bad, ugly and to help the remnant look like a group of people who are totally unworthy of anyone taking notice of. I really question where you are coming from.............mercy.........mercy. bill

Ps. Life is to short to follow any other than the one and only Jesus Christ who was, is and shall be glorified for ever and ever. Amen, Amen.

To say the least your website was dissappointing.


Here I am, 13 years after my graduation of AC Pasadena. A new life and a continent apart, and still having "nightmares" about my church years, maybe healing to get my brainwashed spirit cleaned.

Brainwashed by the Worldwide Church of God all the things mentioned on your site by many before me. Sure, I believe there were a few who were sincere, brainwashed many years before me, and who really didn't know better. The funny thing is that many of us who finally freed ourselves (and our children thanks God!) from all the guilt, the hypocrisy, that terrible view of who God is and consequently of who we ourselves are, have found a deeper understanding of true religion.

I arrived in Pasadena in 1982, 20 years, all the way from Holland (do they speak Hollisch there? was a question asked by one not so bright student), I also believed I had landed in paradise. I made a lot of friends, became a student-leader (maybe because I lost my identity and "adjusted" so well?). I was sent on a much desired project to Jordan for which I am thankful to this day. It was an eye opener to be away from the Pasadena campus and to be in the world again.

During my senior year in college I more and more became to see the fakeness of the lifestyle. It has taken me years to regain my personality, to be able to make my own decisions in life and not to feel judged or to judge others by theirs.

I am also truly thankful that I never got married to an AC student. He probably would have been just as messed up as I was in my mind. No wonder so many got divorced. Not that I didn't like the guys there! With all those hormones raging in the prime time of our lives I was infatuated all the time! In retrospect maybe one advantage I grew so fat at AC. (Wish they could see me now! Eat your heart out baby!)

I have often thought of writing a book about the five years I spent there.

I would like to say though, that there are many people I still think about. I wonder where they are and how they are doing. Jenny Atkinson who was my dearest friend for many years, Armando Olvera, Chris Power, Ana Maria Zambelli, Caroline Cosco, Nigel Bearman, the Couston brothers, Marvin Bourelle, Manya Gustafson, Teresa Meisner and Charlene Brock, Jim Meyers and Mike Kuyckendal, and many many others. I really would love to hear how they were doing. And love to share some things about my life with them. The years I have spent with them have a special place in my heart which is hard to share with anyone because really must have been there.....but ... thank God you weren't!!

 Warmest wishes and regards ,



Back in August 1998, I sent an article to this site entitled I'm Afraid. I listed a number of reasons why I was afraid to leave the UCG. My primary ones were the havoc that it would have on my family and some lingering doubts that they could be right. Well, in January this year, I was getting ready for church one morning and my wife said, "You don't have to go for us". At that point I stopped.

I stopped 25 years of a way of life that I can barely remember not being a part of me. I just stopped. This was the first year I stayed home on the "Holy Days"...the first year I missed the Passover and the makeup one...the first year I went to work on a Saturday morning. It was incredibly freeing for a while...but now I've traded one form of anxiety for another. My wife has grown very distant. She says she's very disappointed with my decision and that it changes our relationship. She comes home from church and stays silent about what went on. I can only imagine what 'conversations' she's had with the minister.

As I suspected would happen, I got a call from NO ONE after I left. Such are friends. My children actually cry when I'm not going to church with them and these things tear me apart. What bothers me more is that the cult cycle will yet continue with my kids as it did with me when my parents started church and then quit.

I've totally lost my direction not believing the Bible anymore, not knowing if there is a God and even if it does exist, not believing that I really matter.

Right now I'm going through life with my family mad as hell with me and not feeling like my life matters to anyone. I've never been this down before. I'm writing this as a therapy session to keep myself from going crazy. I've lost interest in my hobbies, my job and I don't want to socialize with anyone.

Anytime I see a church I yell some obscenity and look at religious people as total idiots. I'm just in a dark place right now and cannot come to grips that there may be nothing after this life. Oh well...I'll just keep plugging along...

Staying in touch


 Why don't you join the PT Forum? There you will have people of like mind to converse with. There are lots of people going through exactly what you are going through.

I'm sure it has to be very difficult for you with your wife and children. It does change everything when both people think the other is, at least, mildly crazy.

You have to start living your life for Today, not for magical, pretend life after death that nobody can prove. Do what you can to be happy now. Figure out where the pain is and then get away from the pain. Admittedly hard when there are children involved.

Have you thought of seeing a counselor? Get some help. It is out there. There are people that understand and can give good advice. Just be careful that their advice is good for you. You should be able to recognize that.

I get the same reaction that you do regarding the churches and religious people. So many crazy, weak, lazy people.

Keep in touch. Hope things start looking up for you soon.


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